day 12.

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

I don't like to use the word hate, so I decided to go with the latter half of what this day is supposed to be. I guess when anyone writes about a person who has caused them a lot of pain, they are really putting themselves out there for a lot of judgement and/or ridicule. Judge as you please, assume what you want, and gossip all you'd like; it's certainly not the first time any of those sorts of things have happened. I've survived thus far, and I'm not too concerned about what everyone else's opinions are on the matter. If you would, please don't try and think you understand me when it comes to this, because unless you are me or this person, you don't.

Dear person who has caused me a lot of pain.. yes, you.

12 things I used to have that I am now lacking and/or avoid because of the pain you have caused me.

1. a whole lot of fabulous songs

2. confidence and pride, and my self-image for that matter

3. a pajama shirt

4. proof of a grad date. did I have one? someone remind me please.

5. a whole lot of friends

6. a mentor

7. the ability to be entirely happy

8. the adventures of jane and you.

9. security 

10. the smile that only your unique sense of humour could bring to my face

11. the person I loved being that seemed to have died along with our friendship

12. one of my best friends, ever

I guess it wouldn't be right for me to not mention the few things you have given me. Props to you for making me tougher than I ever have been, for helping me see whats really important in life, and to see what the meaning of a true friend is. Props to you for teaching me that I'm not a quitter especially when it comes to my friends, and that I don't just throw people away. Honestly, I am genuinely grateful.

Stop causing me pain, because I'm tired of hurting. Stop causing me pain, because I just want us to be friends. Stop causing me pain, because I can't do this anymore. Please and thank you. 

With love,

Simply Jane