good always wins.

So this summer is a little different then my last one. 

Different is good some ways.. but kinda all around bad other ways...

Good as in, 

I get to count down until the time I move to Texas!..

Bad as in, 

I am taking online courses and it freaking sucks to have homework in the summer.

Good as in, 

I have the best job ever and I absolutely love it.

Bad as in, 

I no longer get to live in Waterton.

Good as in, 

I no longer HAVE to live in Waterton! 

Bad as in, 

Cody is not here.

Good as in,

 Cody is right where he is supposed to be.

Bad as in, 

I had limited days to hang out with my new best friends, my mom and dad

Good as in, 

I have met so many wonderful people already this summer.

I'm a little back and forth. I think the good outweigh the bad though. 

source.

Summer always comes back, and it is always fabulous in its own special way.

I'msoexcited.

secret survey.

So I have been MIA these days. It's because I am living in Waterton and the internet where I am is poor and so I can't upload photos and I don't like blogging without a nice visual aid at the end. Here are some secrets to make up for my lack of blogging.

SECRET # 1

Who is your last inbox message from?:

Sydnee =)

SECRET # 2

Where was your display picture taken?: 

the civic center at the dance recital

SECRET # 3

Your relationship status?: 

uhh undefined? i dunno haha i guess single but not really looking. not not looking either though? heck if I know.

SECRET # 4

Have you ever lost a close friend?: 

not to death, but lost friends yes

SECRET # 5

Whats your mood right now?: 

hmm.. content.

SECRET # 6

Where do you wish you were right now?: 

I'm quite happy where I am actually

SECRET # 7

Have a crazy side?: 

haha yeah I think everyone does. maybe..?

SECRET # 8

Ever had a near death experience?: 

nope

SECRET # 9

Something you do a lot?: 

pee, sleep, work,

SECRET # 10

Do you hate anyone? 

no of course not

SECRET # 11

What's stopping you from going for the person you like?

Well.. he lives in Puerto Rico.. but I hope I'm past the "going for him" part by now?.... haha

SECRET # 12

When was the last time you cried?:

last night

SECRET # 13

Is there anyone you would do anything for?: 

yep a couple

SECRET # 14

Who or what do you think about when you are falling asleep?

Well I'm pretty much usually asleep within seven seconds of closing my eyes.. so not a whole lot of time for any sort of pondering.

SECRET # 15

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?: my mother. She tried posting something on someone's wall on facebook but ended up putting it as her status so I had to call and inform her. =)

SECRET # 16

What is your favorite song?: soo many. right now I like the songs war out of peace by tristan prettyman and electric twist by a fine frenzy.

SECRET # 17

What are you doing right now?: 

sittin in a chair

SECRET # 18

Who do you trust most right now? my mother or cody

SECRET # 19

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?:from the magrath triathalon that I didn't run. =)

SECRET # 20

do you love someone?: 

yes, yes I do.

SECRET # 21

Last thing you purchased?: 

rootbeer

SECRET # 22

Describe your life in one word: 

happy

SECRET # 23

Who are you thinking of right now? Katelyn. Because she is my roommate and we just watched that movie. She is probably going to try to kill me tonight. haha

SECRET # 24

Where did you last take a road trip to?: Babb.. real exciting, I know. =)

SECRET # 25

What are you listening to?: only you - joshua radin

SECRET # 26

desricbe the person you like in one word :

umm sweet =)

SECRET # 27

Who was the last person who yelled at you? :

honestly I don't remember

SECRET # 28

Do you act differently around the person you like? well I'm never around him haha but no either way

SECRET # 29

What is your natural hair color? 

brown

SECRET # 30

Who was the last person to make you laugh?:

Katelyn

SECRET # 31

Who was the last person to make you sad?: 

hmm... Clista Rodriguez. haha more frustrated then sad I guess.

SECRET # 32

Who do you miss?: 

cody clay! sher and jennica. 

SECRET # 34

Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?

 uhh not that I can recall.

SECRET # 35

Been out of the country?: 

yeah

SECRET # 36

Held hands with the opposite sex within 6 days?: 

nope.

SECRET # 37

If you had to move anywhere else in the world where would you move?: 

I do have to move and I am moving to Texas.

SECRET # 38

Do little things mean a lot to you?:

they sure do. =)

SECRET # 39

Are you happy with life right now?: 

yes, i am.

SECRET # 40

Are you currently jealous?: 

hmm nope.

SECRET # 41

What jewelry are you currently wearing?:

 CTR ring

SECRET # 42

What were you doing last night?: 

sleeping.

SECRET # 44

Have you ever broken someone's heart?: 

I believe so.

SECRET # 45

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?: 

nope

SECRET # 48

Whats your name again?: 

Janeen

SECRET # 49

What were you doing last Wednesday night?: 

that was last night. I don't even remember. Hung out with Kate.

SECRET # 50

Excited for school?: 

yes. It's about time.

seven three one minus ONE ZERO ZERO makes six three one. =)

I found a cute picture I wanted to post that fit today perfectly, but my blog picture uploader is malfunctioning. =( Sad day. I know.. only it's not a sad day because...

...

...

 It has been 100 days world. 

100 days.

 I feel like this is some sort of milestone worth celebrating. 

Anyone else who has been here probably understands.. 

and anyone who hasn't probably thinks I'm crazy.

No big deal.

I'm celebrating.

(this is where I post the cute picture that won't upload. =( )

bedtime?

Has anyone tried going to bed early?

 I really don't remember going to sleep before midnight at all .. for like.. the past seven years of my life... Until last week. 

My bedtime is on average between eight and ten. Do it. I dare you. Call me lame. Call me old.. but waking up at six in the morning without being tired is my new favorite feeling.

source.

summer secrets?

Waterton has welcomed me back with open arms. =)

I love it. I am so happy to be back.

However, it makes me miss Cody a tiny bit.

The swings at the Bayshore just aren't the same without a snuggle buddy to stargaze with and someone to listen to me chat for hours on end.

The docks aren't as cozy without my big purple comforter and my best friend by my side.

Getting off work isn't as exciting anymore because he isn't on his way to see me.

Everyone I lived with knew we hung out every single day after work.

Everyone around knew we were the best of friends and that we spent our summer together.

But no one knew we were in love.

I liked it that way. It was just for us to know about. 

The best secret in the world. 

It was just ours. And we wanted it that way.

source.

Well. Now the secret's out. 

Sorry Cody. =)

Perhaps I will spend the summer writing him letters from the docks and the swings? 

I think he'd approve..

I live the best life. I'm convinced.

and just when I thought it couldn't get any better..

 there you go and do it all again. ..

You Make Me Happy - Lindsey Ray

=)

source.

til we fall asleep tonight.

I've been obsessed with Joshua Radin for a few years.... 

Looking from a window above, it's like a story of love..

Can you hear me?

All I needed was the love you gave

All I needed for another day

All I ever knew, only you.

When I'm lost, I look at my picture of you

Something you said, sits in my head. It's been there too long, it's killing me slow.

I know the way to silently make you smile with my eyes when you're trying to fight.

Can't you see? 

And of course. Cody's favorite. =)

Been up all night, staring at you, wondering what's on your mind.

I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time..

You want the sunrise to go back to bed.

I wanna make you laugh..

Happy to lay here, just happy to be here. I'm happy to know you.

I can't pick a favorite. There are too many.

...but I get obsessed with him all over again every time any song of his comes on my iPod.

source.

Mother's Day =)

I have two very important things to blog about today. 

First. My mother

 I love my mom so very much.

She is the greatest. 

Did you know every year on my birthday when I come wake her up in the morning, she tells me the same story? I am going to share that story. It is just short, but it means a lot.

This is how she tells it..

I remember wanting you so bad. I just knew there was one more. I distinctly remember being in the hospital room just after giving birth to Jennica. Your dad was promising me I never had to go through the pain of childbirth again and I smiled and said to him and my mother who was also at my bedside, "I think I want one more."

Everyone was shocked. Your grandma thought I was crazy and so did the doctor. They had never heard of a woman saying she wanted to go through childbirth one more time right after having a baby!  But I just knew. I just knew there was one more. We got family pictures when Jennica was little. I had three kids, but I just wasn't happy enough with the pictures. There was an empty spot on my lap. I just knew.

Cute huh?

I'm so loved. I know.

She has given me so many things.

She gave me her bone structure.

She gave me her singing voice.

She gave me her empathetic nature.

She gave me her musical talents.

She gave me her love for being spontaneous.

She gave me her bubbly personality.

She gave me her love for life.

She gave me a life.

She gave me my own room.

She lets me cuddle with her still.

She scratches my back at church.

She leaves me notes on my mirror in my bathroom.

She will always help me if I get stressed about things.

I could go on forever and ever. 

I love you mom!

Okay world. Guess what I did today?

No big deal. I just got to talk to Cody on the phone!!!

I'm going into details people.

I don't usually give TOOOO many details on Cody.. but this was just amazing.

I am in a cloud.

His family was kind enough to invite me out for dinner and to be there when he called! I appreciate them so much for that.

They even let me have some personal time to talk to him.

He's the same Cody that has been my best friend through so much.. only even better.

I had no idea what I was going to say.. and either did he.. but we just talked. About everything. The time on the phone absolutely flew by.

Just like time has been doing for the past three months. YES! Tomorrow is three months. When I told my mom she was like. "Are you sure"

HA. Am I sure..

Anyway.

Honestly though, the anticipation was almost as marvellous as the actual talking to him was. I was the last one to talk to him individually before everyone had him together on speaker phone, and the time waiting while he talked to each of his family members was the best. I don't know if I remember being so excited for something in my whole entire life.

Okay. Enough details.

Telephone happy dance?

source.

sticky note summary?

source.

The end. =)

what about the swing?

Life is the best.

I just love it. 

I wouldn't do it any other way.

But sometimes.. sometimes life just really hurts.

ask.