Jordi says our apartment smells like estrogen.

First of all.. an apology for all of these:

Have I mentioned I'm technically challenged? 

I write my NDHBE in five days.

National Dental Hygiene Board Examination.

That is pretty much the biggest test I have ever written, or will ever write.

Yes, this trumps my English 30-1 diploma... by a lot.

Pretty much I'm a tiny bit stressed about it.

So are my roomies. We all handle stress so differently. It's kind of humorous.

 Let's just say our emotions are all running pretty high these days. It will be so nice to get this test over with so we can all be functional human beings again. 

Hmmm while I'm thinking about it... just a brief apology to anyone who has had to deal with me and my unpredictable emotions over the past couple weeks. I promise I'm not always like this.

My sleeping habits are terrible. Terrible.

And they have been for about two weeks now.

I'm so surprised I'm not deathly ill by now. 

But life is so good. The weather has been warming up a tiny bit. Texas is lovely. I have the sweetest roommates. And my best friend is back from the dead. Oh and by dead I just mean Puerto Rico.

And it's like he never even left. Except now he speaks Spanish. It's pretty cool.

I haven't seen him in real life yet because I live in Texas and he lives at home. But that's fine, for now.

Have I ever mentioned how proud I am of him?

I am. 

He's changed like a million percent, but at the same time.. not at all. 

I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by getting emotional so I'll stop now. =)

I also really need a hair cut. I don't think I have ever neglected my hair so much in my whole life. 

Amber if you ever read this.. please don't judge my split ends. I'll take care of it someday.. promise.

Life is not perfect. 

I don't think life ever really is entirely perfect. 

But it certainly is wonderful, and I'm not sure I have ever been happier. 

And I have a feeling it's just going to get better.

x

THREE.

Okay. So I'm sure a lot of people know this but my friend Cody is going to arrive home to his family in 

THREE DAYS. 

Sunday.Monday.Tuesday. 

Bam. 

Just like that. 

He will have been gone for exactly 749 days.

That is a lot of days.

Everyone keeps saying..

"Already? That went so fast!"

Ha.

Okay it kind of went really fast I guess. Kind of slow sometimes though? 

Nope. I think it feels exactly like two years.

Cody and I wrote lots of letters for a long time. He's still my best friend I think.

But it has certainly been a while hasn't it?...

We have both changed a million percent, which is what was expected.

But I know I'm still me. And I'm pretty sure he is still him.

Also.. I live in Texas for a couple more months.. and he will live in Canada.

So I might not even see him until like April or May.

But thats besides the point. 

He is going to be reunited with his family, and that is what is most important.

I am so excited for them to get their brother/son/grandson/cousin/nephew back!

And the craziest thing is I could just like, text him if I wanted to.

Call him.

Skype. What?!

Boom. 

He will be so accessible that it kind of freaks me out.

Anyway.

Can I just say I have never been more proud of him? 

Dearest Cody.. happy last three days in Puerto Rico! 

back again.

I'm still alive.
My blog fast is over.
My facebook fast has begun.
That is all for now.
Oh.. and I really like this.

"I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!"

Yesterday my two lovely room mates Sarah and Bailey packed up the car and drove 27 hours to Utah. 27 hours. That's just one way.
I almost went with them. Almost. They've been planning this trip for a couple weeks and they have been trying to convince me.
They came quite close, here and there.
I'm a fan of road trips and such. I love spontaneous things.
And let me tell you, this was tempting.
You see, my sister and her husband live in Utah, two of my best friends live in Utah, my mom and brother are going to visit this weekend there, and my other best friend is going to Utah too. Everyone is going to Utah.
We saints sure know how to gather.
Except for me I guess.
I simply just didn't want to go.
Maybe it was the fact that I didn't want to drive for 27 hours.. x2
Or maybe it was because I still haven't quite recovered from my trek from Canada to Texas last January...
Or maybe I just want to hide in Texas a little bit longer..
Or maybe I just simply felt like having the weekend to myself.
Whatever the reason is, I find myself alone in my apartment and let me tell you, I am happy as a clam.
I could definitely live alone. I love my room mates. Let me make sure that's clear. They are the best. But I'm just throwing this out there.. I'm kind of a loner sometimes and I kind of like it that way.
I haven't said any words for hours now and I just really like that.
Is it weird that my thoughts keep me plenty company?
No, I don't hear voices. But I sure do think a lot.
So far, I have read a book, suntanned at the pool, watched ten episodes of Gilmore Girls, painted my toenails and my fingernails, took two naps, and ate pizza, twice.
I'm not even going crazy being alone. Not even a little bit.
I still have Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and half of Tuesday until they come back.
So much time.
Tomorrow I'm having a candlelit bubble bath and going shopping I think.
I might make a cake but just eat the batter and not bake it. I'm not sure. That may be pushing it.
Who am I kidding. That sounds awesome right now.
Well, that's all right now. Hope everyone else's weekends are as positively wonderful as mine.

source

Oh, and now that everyone knows I'm home alone for four more days, I'm double locking the door so don't even bother trying to break in. Also, Sarah and Bailey both left their mace behind. 

half over.

Being home has been quite a treat.  

Southern Alberta has treated me well.

Quite well.

I have to say the fact that I'm going back to Texas in twelve days makes me panic a little bit. 

I've already been here for twelve, and it's gone so fast.

 I feel like I'm not quite finished with my time here. 

Hopefully the next twelve days will go perfectly. 

The last twelve have certainly had ups and downs, but despite the downs..

  the ups and the realizations I've made and the chances I've decided to take

 have made everything so worth it..  =)

I keep learning a little bit more about myself every day.

 I like that.

I'm making a list now.

1. My bed is my favorite belonging. Is that bad?
2. I love the weather here. I love that it cools down at night.
3. I like wearing jeans better than wearing shorts.
4. Having a washer and drier is so convenient. Also having a fully equipped kitchen is so convenient.
5. Sometimes you just have to be spontaneous and try to win fifty bucks by running through the mud bog, because sometimes you win.
6. People don't change all that much. I'm still the same me I was when I was 12 and when I was 17. Sure, there are differences, but deep down, I have the same heart. It's just a little tougher and experienced.
7. I love my friends with all my heart.
8. I want to go back to school after I graduate from Dental Hygiene.
9. I want to be an English teacher... Surprise surprise.
10. Being straight up is the only way to be. Nothing to lose, right?
11. Random people you hardly know like to take it upon themselves to make your business their business. So not cool.
12. Life is all about adjustments.
13. Boys like to be the hero, and girls just want a hero. How convenient.
14. Summer is the best time of year.. and summer stories are always the best. =)
15. Time can pass.. from days to weeks to months to years, but some things in life just never, ever change, no matter how much you think you want them to. Some things just are the way they are.
16. Some people ya just can't trust. It's sad really.
17. Sometimes you just have to choose to find your own way for some places in life instead of following the map you created for yourself so long ago.
18. I don't care about what other people think nearly as much as I used to. It feels like heaven.
19. I'm me. I'm Jane. I tell myself not to put my heart on the line, but I always do. Can't help it.
20. Some risks will always be worth taking, no matter how many times you've taken them before.

~We Bought A Zoo

every summer has a story.

Okay so I guess its more like every summer SHOULD have a story. But you see, last summer didn't really have much of a storyline for me. It involved working and going to bed early and waking up early. It wasn't terrible and of course, life threw me a curve ball or two in attempts to mix things up for me... but I didn't really do anything about it. I don't think I exactly took advantage of the summer sun and the freedom and the experiences I could have had.. and I'm kind of regretting it.

I think I had a bit of a wake up call. I arrived home, not expecting all too much of my three weeks, with a few plans here or there. Nothing set in stone, but sometimes crap just happens and makes you realize that in fact you gotta make life count.

So, in effort to make up for my terribly dull summer of 2011, combined with the fact that I was in school until five days ago, I have exactly three weeks to make up for lost summertime.  Now I have three weeks of no job, no commitments, and no expectations, I am quite determined to make the story of summer 2012 one worth smiling about and maybe even writing about if I find the time. I already have a few things checked off my bucket list, and I certainly have a few more things I need to do before I am headed back to Texas. I suppose this is my vow to make every second count this summer. I have to say I'm looking forward to having no regrets, not over-thinking things, and just living a little bit, because I'm tired of being a student zombie. I'm ready for a few more spontaneous late night adventures, a few more days on the lake, perhaps a little camping and hopefully not too much sleeping. I'm excited to just stop worrying about doing what everyone else expects me to do this summer and not caring about what everyone else thinks. It's gonna be good.

x

If only it rained more in Texas

It's thundering outside and I had a three hour nap.

It's a good day.

+

Not too shabby..

What makes today good.

1. Finding out I actually passed two tests I thought I failed. Two tests I was sure I failed. I'm so glad I didn't study any longer than necessary.

2. Canada day cupcakes. I wish I had a picture to post. Let's just say beavers and hockey sticks were involved. 

3. No school tomorrow. NO SCHOOL TOMORROW. Yay. I might have to suntan since how I have not spent any time outside since May.

4. I have clean laundry. Hallelujah. This is a feat for me. Not having a washer and drier has proven to be quite a frustration. Ohhh the life of a poor college student. 

5. I got a letter from Cody. And even though I have received 80+ letters from him now, I STILL get just as excited to see an envelope addressed to me sitting in the mailbox.

Every.single.time.

+

goood.

Sometimes when I am in a grumpy mood I decide the most appropriate blog post is one that is ridiculously positive. It's true. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I figure its time to write about a bunch of super wonderful things in life right now. Maybe by the end I will forget that I was grumpy today.

My parents are coming to see me in less than two weeks.

I'm gonna pass clinic this semester.

I went to the Hunger Games and loved it!

I get to move into a new apartment in like three weeks. This means I get to live with Sarah Jo now too. (Becky shall be missed:( )

I went deep sea fishing this weekend and caught a big red snapper. And then ate it.

I have a tan.

I bought a 6 dollar neon pink bikini at Walmart and I'm so freaking happy about it.

I get Lasagna for dinner tonight.

I love my instructors.

I love my roomies.

I love watching Lost with all the Canadians.

I made new friends on the weekend.

Katelyn Remington is coming to visit me at the end of April for almost three weeks. AHH.

Justin Bieber released a song that he wrote for me. Such a kind soul.

I'm no longer lost and confused in life. Ha! =)

I have the best friends in the whole world.

Draw something is killing the battery on my ipod but I don't even care because its so fun.

I bought a new shirt.

I have the best older brother who sends the best fb messages to keep me up to date in life. I love him.

Sher and Chad invited me to Florida again. Even though I can't go, the fact that they invited me again makes me really happy. They're the best.

I realized I have enough money to finish school. It's a relief to say the least.

Jennica is graduating from BYU next month. I am just so proud of her. I wish I could go visit her and Brian but since I can't I will just have to see them an extra time in the summer.  =)

I love everything.

Okay this is working. I am officially a happy camper. 

source.

karlee fry. karlee davidson. karlee mulan.

I have this bestie named Karlee-Fry whom I love with my whole heart. 

She has the heart of gold. 

She always turns the other cheek.

She always takes the high road when things get tough.

She never judges me when I tell her all of my secrets.

 She listens to me when I am sad and confused and helps me be brave when I need to be.

I trust her with everything and I love her forever. =) 

We met when we were just littluns in swimming lessons. 

We were always friends, but we became besties on a swing at girls camp when we were fourteen.

We stayed besties all through junior high and high school, and even now almost two years after we graduated, I find myself wanting to hear her giggle and sneeze like a baby and tell her my secrets. 

I love her all the same and even more.

Some say you lose touch with your friends after high school.

Not a chance.

It is her birthday this week so I am dedicating this post to her.

Sooo Karlee Fry. 

Thank you for always being a good example to me.

Thank you for always listening to me.

Thank you for trusting me.

Thank you for teaching me all your beauty secrets.

Thank you for sharing your music with me.

Thank you for crying with me and laughing with me.

Thank you for screwing up with me and learning with me.

Thank you for smiling with me and growing with me.

Thank you for letting me call you my best friend.

I love you forever. =)

Happy two days away from being twenty!

i'm loved.

So this one time...

I got this package from Jenn and Brian.

And I lived happily ever after.

music monday.

In a book, in a box, in the closet

In a line, in a song I once heard.

In a moment on a front porch late one June

In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon

So Leighton Meester sings this song, and so does Rascal Flatts. I think they are both great except I prefer Leighton Meester because of my deep love of Blair Waldorf.. and its easier to sing along to another girl then a guy.. Anyway. 

It's called 

Words I Couldn't Say.

I watched Country Strong for the millionth time this weekend. Okay, I've actually only seen it like four times. 

I'm going to go buy a cowboy hat now and its going to look great.

That show has some awesome songs and some awesome quotes. I've posted about this before I think but oh well. This one stood out to me this weekend.

Fall in love with as many things as possible.

That phrase just makes me love life a little bit more. I think I'm going to do just that. =)

source.

the early bird gets the nicest butt.

I solemnly swear to blog more often. I'm surprised I haven't lost any followers. Special shout out to Carson for his text this morning reminding me of this blog.

Jane! I went onto your blog for the first time expecting to see some new blog posts. But nope! #slacker

I don't know what my deal is. I feel weird blogging. I think I've changed a lot lately.

Maybe I got tired of people knowing everything.

Whatever it is, I kind of miss blogging. So my blog may be different as of now and my posts might be a lot different than they were in the past..
but I think I am back. Hopefully.

I started this crazy thing where I work out at 5:00 am three mornings a week.

Take a moment to digest that people.

I don't do stuff like this.
Back in the day when I took dance.. we had an early morning stretch class. Once a week. At .. 6:30? Does anyone remember?
Anyway. Every Wednesday I had an inward battle. Debated not going. Debated running away. Debated quitting dance. Debated crashing my car.. dying.. breaking my legs.. ANYTHING. It was the hardest thing ever for some reason.
I do believe it has prepared me for this time in my life though.
I did discover in the summer that I can be, in fact, a morning person.. but 5:00am is pushing it. 

Not to mention that early to get up and sweat your face off and feel like dying is really pushing it.
Anyway.

I attend a fitness class at La Sierra with Nora Estrada.

Yeah. Thats her. 

She's a babe... and she makes me wanna be a babe.
It all started when I did this crazy thing called a 10km run a week after being here. Heres pictures to prove it.

Befoooree

Afterrrr =)

Anyway. I met all these La Sierra ladies because Sarah went and worked out with them last semester and they were there and she was there and well. You know how it goes. I saw this lady Nora. Found out how old she was and died when I realized her butt was nicer than mine.
The day I turned twenty, my butt started sliding down lower and lower to my thighs.
It scared me a little bit.
I'm just being honest. So I vowed it was time to make a change.
I decided to meet Nora.
Its been three weeks and I'm still alive.

Anyway, I love her. I hate her though. But mostly I love her.

Thats news. 

I'm gonna miss this place.

Welll I'm going back to Texas in approximately 8-11 hours depending on when Bailey gets to leave the dentist in the morning.

Poor soul.

It was such a lovely month at home. Perfect really. 

I definitely had some moments I wish not to repeat never happened. So I am going to pretend they never happened and move on. =)

I think I grew up this month. I guess I am always growing up and yeah, I turned twenty and stuff, but in all seriousness..

 something has changed within me..

Something is not the same.. 

I'm through with playing the rules

 or someone else's gaaaamme

Okay I just had a moment and started singing that song in my head and it came through my fingers. 

For those bloggers and blogstalkers out there that didn't catch on an thought I was trying to be inspirational, I actually just accidentally just started singing Defying Gravity from Wicked. 

But really. I'm different... again. Man I keep changing huh? Word.

I freaking miss my brothers and sisters so much already I am adding three/four hours onto my thirty six hour drive so I can see Jenn and Brian again.

And I'm so excited. 

I always have a good time with my family, but this time it was different..

I have the best siblings. Seriously. I don't ever remember ever getting in a fight what my brother, ever. He has never had anything rude to say to me. He treats all his little sisters so well. 

And my sisters? Where would I be without my sisters. They have taught me so much, good and bad. =) 

And my brothers in-law. They just fit so well with our family. It's so great. I just love when everyone is altogether. 

Anyway. Besides having a blast with my family, this Christmas was special for me.

I definitely had some much needed answers to prayers... on more than one occasion.

They came in ways I wasn't expecting.

The Lord really watches out for all of His children. I'm so grateful to know that I am in his constant care.

I also really like this little thought.

Well. Enough. I like this place called home and I'm going to miss it.

I'm going to miss my parents so much. They have been way too good to me. 

Oh crap I'm going to cry all over again.

Well. Adios amigos. Wish me luck on my cross country drive. I'm gonna need it.

dedicated to carson. =)

Apparently I never blog. 

This one is for you lil brother{practically}.

Thank you for being such a sweetheart and caring so much about people.

Oh. And thanks for coming to the hockey game the week Cody left and tag along with you and your friends.

Thanks for sending me those texts you found on Cody's old phone.
And the picture.

Is the little light still purple and yellow when I text you?

or did you figure out how to change it?

Thanks for listening to me rant and whine.

Thanks for texting me when you miss Cody.

Thanks for always having a good attitude.

You are going to be an amazing missionary, did you know that?

Cody will be so proud.

And so will your family.

and me too.

Love you little brother. :)

source

crazier things have happened. okay no they haven't.

Cool crazy things never happen to me. 

I never have cool stories to tell or exciting adventures. 

Okay well I like my life and such but ya know? 

I feel like nothing super crazy cool has ever happened to me.. until LAST NIGHT.

As previously posted, last night I went to Lady Antebellum! Oh my word. To start off, the concert was amazing. They were incredible live. 

Anyway. The highlight of the night was possibly after the concert. We were walking to Bailey's car when we saw a group of people hanging by a fence out back and we were like.. cool what if they come out! So Bailey and I ran over there. The security guards were telling us that they already left and trying to get us to leave. There was a crowd of maybe 30-40 people but Bailey and I were at the front. Slowly people started leaving and such.. the crowd was now probably at about fifteen people. We were deciding if we should leave and such then BAM. Out walks the guitar player/singer for Lady Antebellum.. Dave Haywood! 

He dropped all his things and walked over to the fence where the crowd was and started giving autographs and shaking hands with everyone. 

Bailey grabbed his hand while I held my camera out to him to take a picture. He took the camera from my hand and then snapped a picture with us! He then shook our hands again and kept walking down the line. I was shaking! It was the craziest coolest thing ever. I've never met anyone famous before and now I have a picture with one!

a thousand more. =)

If anyone ruins this song for me like "Jar of Hearts" was ruined for me I will be very upset.

This means. Don't try to sing like her. It doesn't work.

Don't overplay it.

 Don't butcher it. Just enjoy.

Okaythanks. =)

Ps. Don't mind the "Breaking Dawn" scenes throughout the video. haha

I have an announcement.

Dear Blogworld and those of you who are not apart of the blogworld but creep my blog anyway,

I think it's time ya'll know.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

We are often known as "Mormons"

but that does not define everything we are.

I want to write a bit on what I believe know.

God knows me.

He knows what makes me sad.

He knows why I cry.

He knows my fears.

He knows how I feel. 

Every minute of every day.

He knows what brings me complete happiness.

He wants to help me to keep that happiness

forever.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved."

John 3:16-17

I know that I make mistakes.

I am far from perfect.

I think the wrong thing.

I say the wrong thing.

I do the wrong thing.

I am who I am.

But I know

that there is a way to become clean again.

I know

Christ suffered all I have suffered for my sins so I am able to have eternal life.

I know

that by staying close to God, and keeping His commandments

He will help me remain on the right path.

He will help me make decisions.

He will comfort me when I am sad.

He will calm my troubled heart.

He will bless me.

and He will forgive me.
People can judge my mistakes.
They can judge my actions.
They can judge me for things I say or things I do.
Things I might have said in the past. Or done in the past.
But that doesn't matter 

because I know

if I keep the commandments,

I will be able to return to my Father in Heaven again.

I will be able to thank His son for all that he suffered for me.

I will be able to experience joy beyond mortal comprension.

I will be able to be with my family

forever.

I will be able to be with the love of my life

—whomever he may be—

forever.

I also know that YOU can have this happiness and knowledge too.
By simply asking in faith
you will receive the same knowledge.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

makes sense.

The other day my roommate was giving our FHE lesson and she was elaborating on a talk that was given in an Ensign from 1999. I'm afraid I don't know the talk and when I asked her she couldn't find it. Excuse me for not giving the wise soul who spoke these words the proper credit. If I ever find it again I'll be sure to come edit this. What's important is the fabulous words that were spoken that have stuck with me all week.

"Real love is charity, and it is only obtained through the love of Christ. When exercising charity, we come to know a person's heart. When we know a person's heart, we are different. We won't judge them. We won't hold grudges. We won't take offense. We will simply love them."

I've got to stop thinking.

source.

but it kind of all makes sense, right?

You flew out.

How are you still here?

=)

source.