the over thinking.

Sometimes I don't do enough thinking.

I used to get a lecture from my parents all the time when I was little.

"Think before you act.."

 I suppose I was a bit impulsive.

I'm doing better though.. now that I'm nearly twenty.

They've done well.

However, I'm afraid that now I think too much.

And today, my thinking has brought me to this point.

 I want to know.

What does it all mean?

source.

I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. 

But I still don't understand why things had to happen the way they did.

thank you grey's anatomy for providing me with the best songs for music monday.

Favorite.

I've got a plan. I've got an atlas in my hands.

anti-stresscase

My whole life I've kind of been a bit of a stress case.

Okay that may be a little bit extreme, but I do freak out over big things.. and little things.

So yeah. A stresscase.

I used to throw up before the 100m in track.

My nails are always chewed. (Gross I know. I'm quitting.)

I often had meltdowns before big tests.

I know. It's embarrassing.

I'm doing better though I'm proud to say.

I have at least three tests every week right now.. and if I fail I get kicked out of my program.

 And I think I'm doing quite well with not getting overly stressed.

My mama would be proud.

I've been trying some of these out. 

I think a little bit of stress is good. It keeps me going and makes me finish things.

But not having too much stress has changed my whole life.

I am a happy person. =)

source

I didn't forget about Music Monday.

I've been a bit of a failure at Music Monday haven't I?

OOooopps. I've been busy. You know. Studying. Sleeping. Swimming. Tanning. Studying. Studying. Oh.. and I may or may not have started Grey's Anatomy again from Season 1.. Just as a sidenote. But good news is Grey's has the best music ever so I will have some lovely reminders of some of the most fabulous of songs for Music Monday!

Let's start with... 

Chicago - Sufjan Stevens

Enjoyyy. =)

one little letter

Dear Cody,

I miss you today. 

A lot.

I don't know why today of all days, but I do.

Thanks for being my best friend no matter what.

Thank you for always drying my tears when I was sad.

Thank you for showing me what love is.

I love you. Don't forget okay?

Love Jane.

source.

This post doesn't even need a title.

Sometimes 

I forget to be happy all the time.

Then I open up the mailbox

 and see a letter 

addressed to me.

(Even better when its travelled all the way from Puerto Rico..)

And just like that, I simply cannot stop smiling the rest of the day.

Or week.

source

let it be a good day.

Why so much negative energy?

Today I love everything.

And when people complain all the time

it steals my positive energy.

I so much prefer being optimistic.

source.

all done?

I have been thinking of some things that make me sad lately because there are a lot, but I didn't want to write a post that was entirely negative so today I am writing ten things that make me sad and then ten things to make me smile to even things out. 

The Sad Stuff.

1. When someone assumes the worst.

2. When someone does something they know is stupid because they think no one cares when really, I do.

3. When a teacher tells you there is a test so you bust your back studying for it only to find out it was just a "see how well you prepare for tests" test.

4. When that teacher laughs about how frustrated everyone is for studying so hard for the nonexistent test.

5. Feeling guilty for something you shouldn't have to feel guilty about.

6. Remembering something from the past that broke your heart.

7. Headaches.

8. My pre-clinic class Wednesday mornings that has officially made Wednesdays suck.

9. Having to pee so bad in the morning that my stomach hurts. (seriously the worst start to the day)

10. Not knowing what the heck to do..

The Happy Stuff

1. There is a pool outside my apartment.. and it's not cold.

2. Realizing you made a difference in someone's life when you didn't think you did.

3. Finding a perfect song.

4. Waking up before the alarm and not being tired.

5. Having chats with lil brothers. 

6. The 9th.

7. Feeling trusted.

8. Keeping a secret that isn't yours to tell.

9. Room mate chats until the wee hours of the morning.

10. Going to bed with a smile.

Let's be done with the sad stuff please?

Thanks. It means a lot. =)

source.

hello monday.

So I have failed at Music Monday two weeks in a row but here I ammmm! 

Country music has really been tuggin at my heartstrings lately. I suppose it always has done that.

 but I think it's something in the water here. 

It is just all I can listen to for the time being.

Sarah showed me this song and I have to say I am a fan. 

Oh, Tonight - Josh Abbott Band

seek rats.

I've been thinking about stuff lately. 

I have decided I hate knowing things I can't tell.

I found this little photo and it seemed to sum things up pretty great.

Also? 

Love this quote.

Unlikely places, I tell ya.

source.

My only weakness is knowing your secrets.

I'm back.

I solemnly swear not to neglect the blog for such a long time.. hardly ever again. So much has happened.. oh my. I have been running for ten days straight. Really. It's been wonderful. Hectic, but wonderful.

My room is so cute.  I love it here.

Apparently I love to organize things?

I walk to school. J-Walk. There are no cross walks. It is crazy and I hope I don't die this year.

I have four cases of pop under my bed. There was a deal if you bought four okay? Don't judge me.

So.. I kinda feel like my life has actually started now. It's the weirdest thing. For the first time in my life, I feel like I don't have a million questions about my future. That feels wonderful.

Past has passed for a reason. I'm so glad.

Spring hasn't texted me a reminder for a few days but I don't even need her to anymore because I remember by myself. I'm growing up.

Everyone should read this. It's brilliant right?

I love it here.

It's a good thing I love country music. I officially am living in Texas. My radio stations basically consist of country music. Oh.. and I'm pretty sure I pick up the Spanish radio too.

I live about twenty minutes from Mexico. My mom thinks I'm going to get sold into the sex trade.

I miss my mom.

There is a freaking pool outside my apartment. And the water? It's warm, not cold.

I got all these really cool sharp dental instruments already. They're sharp. I also made a lovely friend. We were already friends.. but she was the first persons mouth I got to peek inside and vise versa. and I feel like we'll be friends forever because of that.

Bailey is going to save me a lot of money and I think she will make the show Extreme Couponing someday. It's really only a matter of time. She's even cutting them out right now.

My instructors are so great. They say ya'll and stuff.

I love my room mates already... even though Becky thought I stole the lightbulb from the fridge. =)

I went out for wings tonight for the first time ever. Weird.. I know. Wings creep me out. I got the boneless ones and they were just kinda like chicken tenders. For everyone out there who also gets creeped out by wings, the boneless ones are not-so-creepy.

I just ordered two pairs of scrubs, or fancy pajamas as Bailey says, for over a hundred dollars and I'm not even mad. Just excited.

Have I mentioned I love it here? I am definitely in the right place. =)