versatile.

What do ya know. I won an award.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank Chanel for awarding me with this. I have never won a blogger award so this is a big day. I already wrote a post about Chanel once right here, as she was my 50th follower. She's pretty cool in my books.

Speaking of followers..

 It wasn't even that long ago that I hit 50, and now I somehow have reached 77... Imagine the post dedicated to my 100th follower? Be excited. Perhaps a giveaway?... 

I also want to take this opportunity to thank all of my new followers! I'm not sure what has happened but suddenly I feel like I have all these new friends, or I have been invited into a club of bloggers or something.

Cooool.

Anyway, Madison also mentioned me for this award, so I would like to thank her as well. Her blog was private a while back and when I found out today that it has been public for a while I had some serious catching up to do.. I actually read every single post. Love it! You should probably take a look. 

Anyway, apparently this award comes with some expectations.

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link them back to your post

2. Tell seven things about yourself

3. Award to 15 new bloggers (Chanel said 10, but Madison said 15. I'm going with 15.)

4. Contact these new bloggers and let them know they have received this award.

Well. Here are seven things about me.

1. I'm a regular normal plain girl. I am 5"5 and I have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. 

2. The blog world is one of my favorite worlds. Super Mario World.. World of Warcraft.. Wizarding World of Harry Potter.. (okay maybe H.P. is a tie...I'll let you know when I get home from Florida) The blog world just OWNS all the other worlds. 

I love the friends I have made, and I love discovering wonderful blogs. I love getting comments or hearing that someone creeps on my blog.

3. I'm shy around people I don't know very well. I think I come across as stuck-up because of it, but honestly it is probably because I am too scared to strike up a casual conversation or because I think you hate me. (k but seriously)

4. I love people watching. I think it is fabulous and could probably do it for hours.

5. I cannot stand when people are fake. I will not expand on this because it will make my #5 way longer than the rest. Another post, another day.

6. I'm way too competitive. Usually kind of quietly and secretly.. which is probably not a good thing all the time.

7. Getting sick and having to move back home from University and adjust to a life I wasn't planning was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

Okay. Here are 15 recently discovered blogs..

There have been MANY, but these are the ones I think deserve this award.

(I hope tagging them counts as contacting them..)

This Is My Story

The Lexical Gap

Victoria's World

Life in Technicolor

Dancing In The Rain

Tiptoe through the tulips with me

Adventures of the Mick

Alix Paige

Ryann.

frozen lemons

just the two of us...

Kinzee Elise*

Lindsey and Gunner

The New World

Pages of Me

(Okay, that last one is not-so "recently discovered" but still deserves the award.. And since I did so good with all the rest of them being newly discovered I figured I could make an exception, especially since she was the first person to tag me in a blog. It's only fair.. Just saying.)

Wow okay. That was surprisingly difficult.

Happy blogging!

I can't think of an appropriate title for this post....

Ladies and Gentlemen of the blogging community.. I knew this was coming today; however, I didn't know if it was going to be good news or bad news. I woke up every hour last night. 

I don't do stuff like that. I am a sleeper. Finally, this decided to arrive and ease my pain.

...

Ya okay, so that's the important part.

SLDKFJS:KFLJSLFSJ!!!

I'm more excited than I was the day I got my acceptance letter for BYU. ..

crazy, right?

This is for real!

Hopefully I won't be picking up any freak viruses this time...

I'm more excited to go to a little po-dunk town in the middle of nowhere pretty much in Mexico than I was to go to BYU.. 

A prestigious school of over 30 000 students in the heart of Utah with most of my friends.

Well, that is their dream, and I am so happy for all of them.

.. but this is MY dream. :)

Plus, Becky is there and I'm pretty sure we need to make a giant fort for the sake of being such good friends when we were ten.

And I am going to be done school April 2013!

And for my dear blogger friends who don't know just how far south in Texas I am going?

Ohhh bring on the heat please.

please oh please oh please.

I have a feeling that a lot of things I have been waiting for, 

or waiting to find answers for 

in the past month are alllll going to be revealed to me in the next week..

I'm trying not to have any expectations for the results.

I have never handled disappointment well.

I wouldn't call myself a pessimist, but for situations like this, sometimes preparing for the worst is the best thing to do.

So maybe.. I won't get into the program I applied for, and I won't get the job that is going to make life affordable if I do get into that program. Maybe my passport won't come so I can't go to Florida. Maybe I will get that answer that will change my life forever.

No big deal.

Ya okay.. just kidding.

Everything sure as heck better work out.

+

"He does landscapes.."

 I have considered doing a post like this for the past few months.. but have resisted due to sheer embarrassment of my obsession. I just finished watching Titanic and currently have lost all sense of pride so I figured I may as well go for this while I have the guts.

 I first saw Titanic when I was maybe eleven or twelve, but my earliest memory of it was my oldest sister going to see it in theaters.. I'm pretty sure it was like sixteen times or something.. okay maybe eight. All I know is that I wasn't allowed to watch it due to the fact that I was was only five or six when it was released.. but my sister Sher did have a severe case of.. I guess Leo Mania is what they called it at the time. 

Who wouldn't though? Just look at his face. Look at how romantic he is. And how he rescues her from the wretched Hockley. I'm pretty sure every girl wants a man who can save her from those things causing her so much heart ache. 

He definitely has what it takes to make a woman fall in love.

I finally saw it on TV when I was to an age where my parents no longer monitored everything I watched.

 I thought I was so sneaky.. but I'm pretty sure they could hear the theme song blasting through my house.. anyway..

Time passed and I kind of forgot the movie existed, until grade nine when my friends and I had chick-flick marathons every Friday and Saturday to ease the pain of our broken hearted fifteen-year old selves. I remember watching Titanic, but only watching the first half because the second half is just so sad. We only liked movies with happy endings or something. 

Last fall, Steph mentioned wanting to see the WHOLE movie, and we kept talking about renting it. We were at Value Village when Steph found the VHS for three dollars. Of course, she bought it, and we watched it the next day I believe. And the next day. And the day after that. I'm really not exaggerating either. I wish I counted how many times we watched it. I'm pretty sure there was one day when the movie ended and we just decided to rewind it and start over.

(This was the time in my life when I had to come home from University due to severe ulcers and was in the healing process. Steph was just a good friend and kept me company.)

A few months passed without Titanic as we fell into the Road Trip mode (we actually watched it on our way to California haha), then Monopoly mode, and then I fell into saying goodbye to Cody mode. The day Cody left, I decided to watch this movie again. It was uploaded on my computer from when we watched it on our road trip. (Don't laugh at me. It's a good show k.) I have watched it three times since then.. 

I like to watch just a little part of it every few nights to help me fall asleep.

I guess it has replaced catching up on good books. Titanic is probably the reason I haven't read the Hunger Games yet. And yes world, it is #1 on my list of what to read next. I even bought it so I will read it. Just not today.

Anyway.

I have yet to watch this movie without finding myself in tears as Rose and Jack bid such a heartbreaking farewell.

Oh my. It's so traumatic. and ohhhh so romantic.

Yeah, and whats a movie blogpost without some sappy quotes at the end? :)

"I figure life's a gift and I don't intend on wasting it. You don't know what hand you're gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you.. to make each day count."

"A women's heart is a deep ocean of secrets"

"Come, Josephine in my flying machine going up she goes, up she goes..."

"Where to miss?" "To the stars.."

"You jump, I jump right?"

"I'll never let go Jack, I promise.."

So good. Now I apologize for my romantical rant and review. I don't normally do this.. but this show is worth it okay?

Go watch it though. You won't regret it.

all photos found via google images

C.C. you wear me out.

So as posted on March 9, I have a list of goals to accomplish. No. .I didn't forget, but I regret to inform the blog world that I have failed one some of them already. I know I have until April 9th, but here is my update. Let me first remind you of my goals.

- attack my messy room and keep it clean until I leave for Florida (I was going to say keep it clean forever but let`s be real.)

- figure out a Plan B incase my summer job doesn`t work out

- start making another quilt

- don`t go clothes shopping... not even once

- make an official budget.... 99% savings.. 1% other.. or something close to that

- clean my mom`s car

- donate something

- make Sunday dinner
- use that stupid treadmill that is sitting in my house. three times a week.
- I`ll throw in 100 sit ups three times a week just because it will be good for me.

- did I mention I need to stop shopping.. I am also adding no more eating out to that list.

- see J Biebs with Steph again

- don`t sleep in past ten, ever (I`ll aim for 9:30 next month.. maybe)

- finish choreographing the dances for my dance classes

- go to institute every single week

WELL.

I cleaned my room. But it's a mess again.. but I am cleaning it again today for a second try.

I applied for another job incase plan A doesn't work.

No quilt yet.. but there is still time!

I accidentally bought two shirts. They were on sale though.

I didn't make a budget, but I now deposit any money directly into my savings account which I can't access with my debit card. I find this helps.

Mom's car - more messy then before but maybe next week.

I donated to a children's charity when I went through the till at Extra Foods.

Sunday Dinner... forgot about that one. Tomorrow I will!

So.. I have only used that treadmill twice. I'm an embarrassment, I know. Gotta start somewhere.. and that's more than I've used it in the twelve years we've had it so I have improved.

I did a hundred crunches week one and week two, then completely forgot week three. I'll start again after I write this post. I guess week three still has a few days left. :)

So I have cut back on eating out. I went to Moxie's for Jordan's bachelorette party, but I figured that didn't count because it was a special occasion and I really didn't write fine print on that one. I think it is more of an.. don't eat out unless necessary.. kind of goal.. yeah?

I went to J. Biebs again last night. I even brought along Jared, Parker, and Ryan. Even if they deny it, they are secretly infected with the fever too. I know it..

So this sleeping in past 10 one.. uhh.. no comment. At least I am conscious of it though, and I do set my alarm every night before I go to bed. Its hard to wake up at a normal time when I don't have to work until 3pm til 11 pm Monday-Thursday okay?!

Finish Choreographing. 2/3 classes done. I think that's a good start.

I haven't missed institute since February 22 I believe.. possibly the week before. I forget.

I'm doing better than I thought. Minus my treadmill business.. but on the plus side, I found this gem hiding in our cabinet downstairs...

Oh, Cindy and I are going to have such a lovely time. I got about halfway through the video today. She is so hardcore... but I will be as fit as her someday. I WILL!

story of my life.

Passport? 

Please hurry up. I really need you to be here so I can go to Montana to check the mail. Also. I really need to go to Florida in April. You best show up soon.

Letter/s? 

Please hurry up. It's been far too long. I know you are all out there somewhere. It's just time for you to get here..

Information packet?

 Please hurry up. I can't stand the suspense any longer. You are ruining all aspects of my life by not being here.

I'm getting tired of going to the post office every day and coming out empty handed. 

It's humiliating.

+

I want a baby like this.

Okay blog world. Please watch this video from start to finish. It has made my life complete I think.

It's really all I have to share with you today.
Laughing Baby Gets Terrified by Mom Blowing Nose
Self explanatory? 

My favorites are at 0:03, 0:13, and then of course.. the grand finale, at 0:44 and 0:48. Watch it all I tell ya. Over and over. It just gets better each time.

So long.

The saddest thing happened.

 It really damaged my blogging pride.

 Unfortunately yesterday, in the matter of about an hour, I went from 54 followers to 51 followers. Apparently three of my creepers decided my blog was no longer worthy of following. I have no idea who stopped following my blog, but they truly shall be missed. I did get another follower again today and I am back up to 52, however, but I don't think my pride will be healed until I get past that 54 mark again. So sad. :(

Mysterious three people who stopped following me.. if you are reading this? I do notice that you are missing, and I am sorry if my blog posts offended you, or if they stopped tickling your fancy, or if you decided you had better things to do then creep on Simply Jane. I read through my post from yesterday that was posted just before your disappearance, and I just don't understand. I am sure you have your reasons and I can accept that.
I enjoyed our time together.

Although this is hard for me, I forgive you.

 I hope you enjoy your creepy time elsewhere from now on.

+

freeze tag.. kissing tag.. blog tag...

Blog tag is officially my favorite game of tag.

I frequently stalk a number of blogs. It is actually excessive and sometimes I think I need to take a break from being creepy, but I can't. Last night, I noticed this fun post on Victoria's blog. I wasn't tagged in it, which is okay. She even wrote a little blurb to make sure those not tagged weren't offended and I felt like it helped. =) Just kidding, but she did tag someone I know.. and I hoped this person would tag me. The moment I realized she had posted, I scanned to the bottom without even reading it to see if I was tagged. (Attn: Blogworld. Don't laugh at me. I tell you my deepest and most embarrassing actions with the notion that you will not judge my strange quirks). Apparently Juhee knows me better than I thought she did... because little things such as getting tagged in a blog post makes my whole day, especially when I am tagged for a reason as fun as this. I don't know what it is but seriously.. stuff like this is my FAVORITE. So thank you for tagging me. =)

+

Just a little side note on Juhee, I know this lovely from school. We were in the same graduating class, had the same group of friends, etc etc etc, but I had no idea she was such a good writer.  Check out her blog, Pages of Me. It is definitely one of my favorites! There are certainly some blogs that I just scan when I open them, but I always get excited when she posts and always read every word. She definitely has a talent. Plus her blog just looks cute all the time. And I think she likes chips even more than I do so she makes me feel good about the fact that maybe my addiction isn't quite as severe as I thought. =) 

1. List three things that you love about yourself.
2. Post a picture that you love.
3. List five bloggers to whom you are passing this along.

Three things I love about myself..

1. Well, I love my love of blogging. I love that I get excited when one of the many blogs I creep has a new post. I love that moment in the day when I realize that I have something I want to post about. I love writing, so this is the perfect thing in the day that lets me just vent if I need to, or just write because I want to. Despite all the past blog bashing and rude comments and everything, I have really come to love the time of day I spend dedicated to writing a post. I have a whole circle of blog friends these days that I absolutely just adore. I love meeting people through blogs, and seriously nothing makes me happier then getting a new comment or a new follower. It is the best! So please... anonymous followers.. don't be anonymous anymore! :)

2. I love that I am very empathetic. Sometimes people just think I am overly emotional, but honestly.. I really just believe I feel things very deeply.. especially when it comes to others being hurt. Whenever I go to a funeral, I cry no matter what. Even if I hardly know the person. No.. I am not necessarily crying because I am sad I won't ever see that person again. I just cry for the family. I feel so bad for them. Confession time: In the zones girls basketball final this year.. when Raymond lost to CCH by just a few points and the girls were all so devastated, I seriously was holding back tears. They were just so sad and I felt so bad for them! :( Don't tell anyone that. Its embarrassing.

But, I do love that about myself. It helps me become close to people, and help people in times of need.

3. This is a new one for me, but I love my body. No, not in the way that I think I have a perfect body, or I want to flaunt it, or I think I physically look better than other people, but I have really been focusing on loving myself and being happy with the body I have been given. Like most of the girls in the world, I have struggled with my self-image and in the past, and I was constantly finding reasons to be unhappy with my body. I decided it was time to change that. Sure, I need to start exercising more and some day when I move away from an A cup I'm sure I will be happier, (haha) but I am learning every day to love my body. It is fully functioning. It is a gift. It is healthy (well, working on that one too). It is strong. It is what keeps me going in life.

A Picture I Love

Okay, so this is the first picture that came to mind. I quickly pushed it aside because I realized how lame it makes me look, and scanned through my iPhoto, but I couldn't settle on any other photos. Here you have it. I love this picture.

Isn't he just so cute? He'd be so embarrassed if he knew I did this, but lucky for me, he won't be reading this any time soon. Here is Cody Clay. I have no idea how old he is. Maybe three? Anyway, his mom has it in an album on facebook so I just took the liberty of stealing it off there for this post.

Tags!

Okay. I only get to choose five, so sorry to those who don't get tagged. Perhaps one of these girls will tag you. Also.. if you really don't want to do this, it's okay I will forgive you. =)

I pick:

From My Arms to Yours

Allyson Kate

Land of Chan

Live. Learn. Grow.

Katey Lee

return of the english diploma Part I

Okay. Warning. This could potentially be considered a very very very boring post so don't get excited to read it. This is strictly in response to a request for some people who have been asking to read my diploma essays. I couldn't decide if I wanted to post them.. because writing is kind of.. hard to share with people. Yes, I write a blog every day but this is different. I wasn't writing this essay with the intent of my peers and the blog world reading it, ya know? Just some crazy dedicated English teacher who volunteers to mark essays for the first week of their summer holidays... Anyway. Yes, I received 100% on both of my English 30-1 essays and requested to receive copies back because I just wanted to read them again. (Did you know you can get them back? Cool huh. Ask me how if you like to keep stuff like essays =) ) Yes, they are in my hand, and yes, I am going to type them on my blog. Today, just my Personal Response. I'm not exactly looking for critique.. because it has already been graded and I won't be using it for anything else in my life. If you have something nice to say,go for it.. annnnnd I guess if you are dying to say something negative, I can take it. I think. haha..

For people who didn't go to grade twelve in Alberta, we have to write a final at the end of the year that comes from the Government of Alberta and it is worth 50% of our final grade. It's kind of a big deal, and the tests are always really hard. Anyway, English is my favorite, so I spent most of my year preparing. Probably should have spent a little more time on math.. buuuuut oh well. :) For this exam in particular, we have exactly three hours to write a personal response to a text given, along with a critical/analytical essay in response to a text studied in the year. We don't get to take anything into the test with us except our brains. I will not be offended if you don't like it.., because whoever marked them in Edmonton.. well.... their opinion is more important to me than yours for this particular piece of writing... Sorry. =)

For my Personal Response essay I decided to write in a creative form instead of an essay form, and ended up writing a short story. I actually used somewhat of an outline from a practice essay I wrote earlier in the year that I received a good score on just written in class. Practice makes perfect or something, right? :) No, it's definitely not perfect. Anyway, It actually has the same title; however, it is an entirely different essay. The title was just based on the metaphor of the essay, which was similar to the previous essay I wrote. Make sense?.. probably not. A lot of people have actually read that practice essay, because it is now published in the WriTeen 2010 anthology from the Writers Guild of Alberta. ( I think that's what it's called?) and I gave copies of it to my family for Christmas along with my English teacher. Anyway. Here is my Personal Response essay from June 2010. I forget the topic, so if anyone who also wrote in June 2010 remembers, please remind me? Something about responsibility ..

OH. And even though this is a "personal response".. it's completely fictional. This didn't happen to me. hahaha. And yes, I know it is written very dramatically. I did that on purpose.

My Feature Presentation

Wrath. The bitterness that comes with the deep despair of defeat flares through the center of my soul. I feel as if I have been placed inside a movie: a drama-filled soap opera. Throughout the past three years, this tumult inside of me has only expanded. Enough discussion. Enough therapy. Enough fighting. My words echo endlessly throughout the hallway of what seems to be a set. Stage right. Stage left. Whether I enter from the front door or the back door, the results are the same. Lights. Spotlights. Directed on me. Camera. Everything is remembered and recorded. Everything is analyzed and inspected. Action. The disarray begins. I have no control. I'm eighteen. I'm old enough. Stop thinking of me as a little girl. You have to understand—I've grown up. No one understands. This is my best friend. This is the boy who has carried me through relentless misery. This is the boy who has shown me who I am. This is the boy I love. My parents have become only one thing to me: a cast of antagonists. Our conversations have turned into one thing to me: a script of sardonic words.

My mother married young; furthermore, she was incapable of holding onto that marriage. Her dogmatic beliefs suffocate me. For some reason, she believes I am incapable of experiencing love at my age. For some reason, she believes I am to follow in her footsteps and attend boarding school. Comical. I subconsciously turn up the background music. Louder. So loud I can no longer hear the shrill shrieking of my mother's insistence that I don't know what love is. I can no longer hear the haunting howls of my father forbidding me to see him. Don't know what love is? How can they think that? The relationship between my dear boy and myself far surpasses any sort of love I have ever been able to witness between my parents. They don't touch. They don't laugh or play. They don't know anything about love. Boarding school? Where has she come up with this idea? I am positive I have viewed a similar plot-line in every single movie that rests in our cabinet, yet she believes this is the answer. Amidst my wandering thoughts, I am taken back. The foggy flashback somewhat comforts me. I'll wait for you, you know? I love you, and that doesn't just go away. I'll come with you. I'll do whatever it takes. The words I was aching to hear poured out of his mouth like a pitcher of ice-cold lemonade on a summer's day, quenching a thirst that none other could. A soft melody surrounds me. Surreal. I listen closer—it's a love song. The camera drifts away to another blissful oblivion. It starts from a long shot, then slowly focuses in on the center of the meadow. I watch myself being lifted and spun in a circle. My knight is rescuing his damsel in distress from a fiery dragon. I smile as I remember my fear of frogs and how he so gallantly scared them away. My fairy-tale romantic childhood was idyllic, and it had transformed from an unforgettable friendship into an everlasting love.

Listen! Interruption. My memories are halted. Although replenished, I am not unable to cling to the bulletproof memories any longer, nor can I tune out the egregious echoes of power reverberating from the microphone, and then blasting from the speakers. The climax is imminent. The music changes into an ominous rumble. The antagonists threaten to conquer. Inhale or exhale? Which is it that I need to do? I am suffocating. The painfully pernicious commands from my parents enhance my plight. As I nearly accept defeat, I hear a narrator in the distance. I feel her beckoning me. Her consoling words allow for relief. You are an adult. You are capable of loving. Don't let them make decisions for you. Take responsibility for your life. The words so simply stated allow me to clear my thoughts. My skin is on fire. I feel certain that their opinions can't last forever. I can feel it in my bones. Inhale. That is what I need to do. The breath fills my lungs to their maximum capacity. I hold the air inside of me to the point of pain. As I exhale, I feel the oxygen return into my veins. I smile. I have won, for I am my own person. With the return of a soothing song, credits roll.

Well. If you stuck around this long as to read an essay... there you have it. And remember, completely fictional... My critical/analytical will make it's way up here one of these days when I feel like typing up another essay... so if you care, keep your eyes open. Oh, and grade twelves. Your welcome. haha I wish I could have read a graded essay before I wrote my diploma.

Yeah, you make me merry make me very very happy

So, I'd like to apologize for my somewhat negative posts the past few days. I'll try and make up for it right now.

I am just going to list things that make me smile..

being able to wake up early without being tired (its a rare occurrence for me)

beautiful weddings with beautiful brides.. such as Jordan

drives to Waterton with Sydnee

curtains that keep my room dark during my naps

mail in any form, just as long as its not a bill

dedicated bloggers

the anticipation of summer

purposely setting my alarm early so I can hit snooze a million times

hearing birds chirp for the first time in the spring

missionary experiences

the thought of soon being able to wear flats without my feet freezing 

blue toenail polish

summer clothing

babies

that moment someone realizes they are in love with their best friend

not owing anyone money

catching up with high school friends for hours

bringing a friend to church

dressing up real nice

when Justin Bieber tweets

full moons

how Cody has changed sooo much in six weeks.. but is still his same quirky self at the same time

sun dresses

having a good hair day

being able to make people laugh

stealing Sydnee from school to go shopping 

wearing a new shirt for the first time

PDAs. Okay.. not when people are crazy... but when a couple is obviously in love and I happen to see them kiss a little bit, I seriously think it's just cute

young adult fiction

when my dad tells stories in great detail

puppies that fit inside purses

dark wash jeans

discussing politics with my parents (seriously its a good time)

fake engagement rings from Walmart

Cody's sense of humour

songs about summertime

the swing behind the Bayshore 

finding an song from a long time ago that you still remember every word to

the thought of a summer not spent at Subway

the smell of Chapters

hummer cologne

the giant piles of snow in Waterton

finding a perfect song for a perfect moment

remembering that one time I went to Vegas and Cali on a road trip with my favorite people in the world

finding money in my pocket unexpectedly

when Cody comes to visit me in my dreams

when people let me check my facebook on their super cool phones

when Rascal Flatts did a song with J Biebs

living in Canada

this article

the fact that people actually want to read my diploma essays

how it is extremely unusual for a week to go buy without having an in depth conversation with Spring

infecting people with Bieber Fever

when I have really weird dreams about horses and escalators

I started this post nine and a half hours before posting it. It took me a while to finish and I almost stopped many times altogether. I left and came back a few times. There really are lots of reasons to smile.. even if you just have to sit and think about what they are for a while..

x

ranting day two...

Well. I don't know how to post exactly what I want to say.. so I think I'll just write some random thoughts..

Can it please just be summer already.. please?

Could everyone that is currently "going to get back to me".. hurry up and get back to me? ...

If someone would donate money to me right now I'd really appreciate it. Seriously.

My phone is a little piece of junk.. not kidding.

Once again.. I have learned the hard way.. not to get my hopes up. I am no good with disappointment.

And you. Why did you have to go telling me that? I don't want to hear things like that. Never again!

Unfortunately, I am currently proving J  Biebs wrong. I know he says to never say never and all, but if he doesn't retweet something I say on twitter one of these days... I want him to know. He ruined my hopes and dreams... I'm not giving up yet.. but I'm getting awfully close.

Time goes by.. so slowly...

Jordan Crawford is getting married this weekend. She is my first friend to get married. Weird. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. Congratulations Jordan and Tim!

I just remembered I was supposed to call this one lady.. last Sunday.. and I just remembered. Gah. I need a planner or a new notebook. Scratch that. I need a Dorota. 

Sometimes.. you just have to sit and cry. It is the only way to feel relief.

I'm really ready to move somewhere. I love it here, yes, but.. I just need a change of scenery. This one just makes me sad.

Oh, did I mention I miss Cody.. hm. Well for future reference, if anyone is wondering, yes, I miss him all day every day. He's my best friend. My life has changed drastically with him being gone. 

I'm 19, if anyone was wondering. When I was little, I thought 19 sounded so old. Even when I was 17, 18.. I thought 19 sounded so old. Let me tell you something. I feel like a child. Life is hard.

Sometimes.. I just want to yell and scream and be mad. Yep. There is a little six year old hiding inside of me refraining from having a temper tantrum.

Have I ever told you people how much I hate exercising. Bleh.

So I'm really bad at cleaning glass. Mirrors, windows, you get it. Guess what. I work at a dance studio. There is waaaallllls of mirrors. And the mirrors? They need to be cleaned.. soooo bad. I'll pay someone to do it for me. Twenty bucks. Any takers?

Sometimes, people just disappoint me.. without even knowing it.. and its fine, I know it is unintentional and I tend to have really high hopes.. but I'm jus a little girl. I get let down easily. Sorry.

Spring is coming? That is happy. Oh and I meant the season.. but also... Spring is coming home soon. That will be so nice.

Michelle asked me to do her hair for Jordan and Tim's wedding. I don't do hair people. Epic fail right around the corner. Wish me luck.

Steph. Can we go to Calgary please. I need a distraction.

....Distraction. Thats what I need. Someone take me on a vacation! Oh wait.... 33 days. I can last 33 more days. I can do it! Sunshine state, please welcome me with open arms..

I have had way too much bad news lately. Something reeeeeally good better be headed my way..

Again.. you.. stop telling me those sorts of things. I know you aren't going to read this.. but I feel better writing it down. 

+

OHHH what lives some people choose to live.

Please, excuse me while I rant.

Life would be so much easier without those people who like to stir things up. 

You know the type.. 

the homewrecker..

the conniver.. 

the sneaky one.. 

Ya. That face that just popped into your mind after reading those descriptions.

I'll stop there.. because I prefer to not use vulgar language.

You know? It frustrates me. More and more every day. People getting involved in my business, or even just watching as a person gets involved in the business of someone else, with their only intentions being that they come out on top. Suuuree.. tell everyone that you are trying to make things better, or trying to "get information" just so you can help your friend out. How old are you again? Last time I checked.. we stopped using messengers in our relationships in elementary school.

"So and so said this about you.. and I heard that she actually thinks this"

Okkaayy??? Thanks, tips.

 Gahhh. It never ends.

And never, in my life, have I seen so many people trash talking their so called "best friends"

Seriously. Don't tell me someone is your best friend if you are going to turn around and try and screw things up for her the next day and say awful things about her right after.

 If she was actually your best friend, you would want her to be happy.

Don't you feel guilty putting your own happiness and desires so far above everyone else that you are wiling to ruin something potentially great for your best friend? 

And then completely lie to her face about it?

I don't understand.

Seriously.

And for the love of everything in my life, please, do NOT try to suck me into anything that doesn't concern me in the least. I don't want to be involved in anything more than necessary.

Thanks.

The end.

source undisclosed.

long lost friend.

You know what. 

Sometimes apologizing for things to believed long forgotten because they occurred... oh.. lets go with.. five, six years ago... seems unnecessary. And you know what? It probably is unnecessary to apologize for such things..

Especially when six years ago for me was the horrible age of thirteen. 

I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I probably need to apologize to more people then I can count for being such a bratty thirteen year old. Anyway. 

Today, someone said something to me.. someone apologized for something that occurred so long ago. Someone that once upon a time was such a huge part of my life. It was for something that.. well.. looking back seems to ridiculous.. but it was something that deeply hurt my little thirteen year old heart. Something that I shed too many tears over, and something I hid in the corner of my soul for, well a good six years. Something that broke me into a million little shattered pieces.

Yeah, I got over it a few years ago, but still.

You know what? 

Even though so much time had passed, and everyone has grown up and matured, and truly this little thing was left in the past, and there were no hard feelings..

the simple little words of acknowledging my feelings so long ago, the words of an apology?

 meant everything to me.

So thank you, dear friend. I truly love you, and I am so grateful you remain apart of my life.  :)

I have never forgotten our friendship.

I, too, am sorry for being such a bratty thirteen year old. I certainly take some of the responsibility for what happened.

As for the rest of the world who has the misfortune of being apart of the horrendous young teen years of Jane..

I am so sorry, for offending you, for gossiping, for telling your secrets, for being a brat, for copying your ideas, for forgetting to invite you to my birthday party, for discluding you, for not realizing how rude I was, for accidently hurting you without realizing it, for whatever else may have happened.

I know this probably doesn't make up for many of the things I have done.. but I hope it is a start.

I guess I am going to work on some more personal apologies.

source undisclosed.

:)

fifty.

Today is a day to celebrate in my life. Really. I received my 50th follower. I promised my readers that I would dedicate an entire post to my 50th follower, so here it is. Chanel decided to take the plunge and be the 50th follower of Simply Jane. I LOVE Chanel's blog. She writes some incredible posts. Honestly, she always has something spectacular to say, and I enjoy reading her blog on an almost-daily basis. She even has a sense of humour that I didn't know about. Take a look if you please. =) You won't regret it.

Thank to Chanel, I have one less thing testing my patience. I truly believe this is a harbinger of many more good things to come.. hopefully including some mail with some excellent news about where I will be spending the next chapter of my life....

+

Now I was sitting.

I feel like all I am doing these days is waiting. And no, not just for one or two things... and no.. probably not what some of you initially thought of when you read that. I am literally waiting on everything...  I feel like life is just kind of on hold at the moment. and I can't really go forward with much else until some of these things start happening.

and yes I realize some of these are shallow. don't judge me.

waiting until my TV shows return in April

waiting for next week, next month, next summer, next year..

 waiting to get my 50th follower.. (anyone willing to help me out on this. I will dedicate a post to you...)
waiting for money to come in the mail

 waiting for mail in general

 okay. those are just added to the list because I really am waiting for all that stuff. ...
but mostly.. these are the things that are weighing on me..

waiting to find out if I am accepted to Harlingen

 waiting to start school again

waiting to find out if my summer job is going to work out

 waiting to go to Florida

 waiting for my passport to come back

 waiting to grow up

 waiting for tomorrow

I'm ready to start getting some answers now so I can keep moving forwards. I'm not a fan of this sitting still stuff.

 

source undisclosed.

Goals

So blogging world. It has been one month since my best friend Cody left. I`d say the time has flown. I have accomplished quit a bit I believe.. including applying for my summer job, completely finishing my application for Harlingen, mailing in my passport to be renewed, making some new friends whom I am really beginning to just love, and making a huge mess out of my room. That last one there isn`t really a proud accomplishment.. but anyway.. I feel like it was a successful month; however, I realized there is just so much more I need to be accomplishing. .....So I stole this idea from Desiree.. but I am going to just make a list of a few goals I want to accomplish in the next month! I didn`t do new years resolutions this year, so I think I am going to start doing monthly goals. I feel like working on something for a month is less overwhelming then the entire year. Baby steps work well for me. =)

Goals

 March 9 - April 9th

- attack my messy room and keep it clean until I leave for Florida (I was going to say keep it clean forever but let`s be real.)

- figure out a Plan B incase my summer job doesn`t work out

- start making another quilt

- don`t go clothes shopping... not even once

- make an official budget.... 99% savings.. 1% other.. or something close to that

- clean my mom`s car

- donate something

- make Sunday dinner
- use that stupid treadmill that is sitting in my house. three times a week.
- I`ll throw in 100 sit ups three times a week just because it will be good for me.

- did I mention I need to stop shopping.. I am also adding no more eating out to that list.

- see J Biebs with Steph again

- don`t sleep in past ten, ever (I`ll aim for 9:30 next month.. maybe)

- finish choreographing the dances for my dance classes

- go to institute every single week

I`d say thats a pretty good list. 

Blog friends. I need your help. 

Remind me to keep working on these things please and thank you!.. 

and check up on me too.

ask for source.

I Love.

I love surprises.

I love the sunshine.

I love painting with ten year olds.

I love teaching three year olds how to point their toes.

I love handwritten letters.

I love the fact that it is March eighth.

I love that I get to start school in less then six months.

I love that I get to go to Florida in forty-three days.

I love that I just got a check in the mail for $75.00 for doing a survey that took me about twenty minutes.

I love how much I have changed in the past six months.

I love knowing that I am going to keep changing.

I love that my weaknesses can be forgiven.

I love that Steph let me add to her birthday package for Karlee.

I love cheesy pick-up lines.

I love the handful of new friends I have. 

I love that I am slowly checking things off my giant list of things to do.

I love Justin Bieber, and how incredibly talented he is.

I love sitting in my bed with Sydnee for six hours and doing absolutely nothing except reading and talking and laughing.

I love that winter will be over soon.

I love that this summer will be my last "summer job".. and the next time I need to work.. I will have a career!

I love the little girl who just brought the "Lost Family Cat" sign into the dance studio, and I love her mom for driving her around to put up posters.

I love my friends.

source undisclosed.

Oh. Sidenote. In reference to this post.. you should watch both of these videos.

 Here and Here.

Love them