This is my boyfriend.
It's Cody. =)
He makes me laugh and he is my best friend.
We have been dating {again} for three months and five days.
For work, he sometimes has to stay in the middle of nowhere in a trailer overnight in a farmers field...
and it makes me grumpy because I don't get to see him, and he sometimes doesn't even have cell phone coverage.
How did I go two whole years without seeing him?


I only blog when I'm sad.

Okay that title was a bit dramatic. It's all good. But really, if I look at the course of my life paralleled with the course of my blog, and it's pretty obvious. When I'm happy and things are good and right and perfect in life, I pretty much vanish. Then BAM. I'm back... and it's always when something isn't quite right...
I've learned that life only goes the way I want it to when I don't acknowledge that it's the way I want it to go. Now, that might not make ANY sense to anyone else, but it does to me. Honestly. Things have only ever fallen into place for me when I don't expect them to, don't care if they do, or just haven't even thought about things enough to know how I want them to be. It's when I think I have life figured out, think I know what I want, and actually believe I can reach out and take hold it.. that's when I have to be careful.
So.. I'm just going to make everything clear, just to be careful.

No, I'm not engaged!! And I won't be any time soon! And yes people ask me that numerous times a day. So feel free to pass that info along to everyone who is curious. Kay thanks.
I don't know where I'm going in the fall.
I don't know where I will be working or living.
I don't know if I'm going back to school someday.
I don't have any job prospects as a hygienist. None. Zero. Zip.
I don't know where I see my life five years down the road.
I'm really not even sure what I'm going to do for the long weekend.

And I'm just not even going to worry about any of it.. because thats when things just seem to work out best for me. =)



Jordi says our apartment smells like estrogen.

First of all.. an apology for all of these:
Have I mentioned I'm technically challenged? 

I write my NDHBE in five days.
National Dental Hygiene Board Examination.
That is pretty much the biggest test I have ever written, or will ever write.
Yes, this trumps my English 30-1 diploma... by a lot.
Pretty much I'm a tiny bit stressed about it.
So are my roomies. We all handle stress so differently. It's kind of humorous.
 Let's just say our emotions are all running pretty high these days. It will be so nice to get this test over with so we can all be functional human beings again. 

Hmmm while I'm thinking about it... just a brief apology to anyone who has had to deal with me and my unpredictable emotions over the past couple weeks. I promise I'm not always like this.

My sleeping habits are terrible. Terrible.
And they have been for about two weeks now.
I'm so surprised I'm not deathly ill by now. 

But life is so good. The weather has been warming up a tiny bit. Texas is lovely. I have the sweetest roommates. And my best friend is back from the dead. Oh and by dead I just mean Puerto Rico.
And it's like he never even left. Except now he speaks Spanish. It's pretty cool.
I haven't seen him in real life yet because I live in Texas and he lives at home. But that's fine, for now.
Have I ever mentioned how proud I am of him?
I am. 
He's changed like a million percent, but at the same time.. not at all. 
I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by getting emotional so I'll stop now. =)

I also really need a hair cut. I don't think I have ever neglected my hair so much in my whole life. 
Amber if you ever read this.. please don't judge my split ends. I'll take care of it someday.. promise.

Life is not perfect. 
I don't think life ever really is entirely perfect. 
But it certainly is wonderful, and I'm not sure I have ever been happier. 
And I have a feeling it's just going to get better.




Okay. So I'm sure a lot of people know this but my friend Cody is going to arrive home to his family in 


Just like that. 
He will have been gone for exactly 749 days.
That is a lot of days.
Everyone keeps saying..
"Already? That went so fast!"
Okay it kind of went really fast I guess. Kind of slow sometimes though? 
Nope. I think it feels exactly like two years.

Cody and I wrote lots of letters for a long time. He's still my best friend I think.
But it has certainly been a while hasn't it?...
We have both changed a million percent, which is what was expected.
But I know I'm still me. And I'm pretty sure he is still him.
Also.. I live in Texas for a couple more months.. and he will live in Canada.
So I might not even see him until like April or May.
But thats besides the point. 

He is going to be reunited with his family, and that is what is most important.
I am so excited for them to get their brother/son/grandson/cousin/nephew back!
And the craziest thing is I could just like, text him if I wanted to.
Call him.
Skype. What?!
He will be so accessible that it kind of freaks me out.

Can I just say I have never been more proud of him? 
Dearest Cody.. happy last three days in Puerto Rico! 


i'm a sicky.

So you know that feeling when you have a headache and every noise or light or movement makes you want to die because you think your head is going to explode? Its the worst right? Well it's not. I have found something worse.
I have a body headache. Yep. Every muscle in my body is sore all the way from my eyebrows to my baby toe. Not just a sore-muscle ache, but like a.. I-feel-like-I'm-going-to-die ache.
Am I whining? Yep.
My entire body feels sensitive to sounds and light and movement. I swear whenever I hear a car drive by my knees hurt. Whenever the light turns on I think my back is going to break. No word of a lie. On top of that, my head hurts more than usual.
Throw in a sore throat and a fever just as a cherry on the cake.

I haven't had a fever since I was eleven I don't think. It's great though because at home, my mom would never let me bundle up in blankets when I had a fever in attempts to cool my body temperature down. Ha. I slept with seven blankets last night. I'm not even mad and she doesn't even know. Take over, fever because I'm FREEZING!

Whatever this strange illness is that I have, it is not welcome here.



back again.

I'm still alive.
My blog fast is over.
My facebook fast has begun.
That is all for now.
Oh.. and I really like this.

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