good thing Cody left me his blue sweater so now I can sing this song.

So I know it's Christmas Eve and I should probably post about Christmas, but I want to post the most perfect song that I discovered via Facebook just barely. Because it's perfect today... and because I didn't do a song on Monday.. also because I want to show everyone how amazing it is.

I haven't heard your voice in a while, I miss the sound
I wanna see your face but you're in another place, oh, another town
Why did you have to leave on a trip that would take you away from me?
You're a thousand miles away but I know you hear this melody

I'll play the sweet sound of your voice inside my head
Like a record
And I'll smell the wonderful scent, oh, you captured within
Your blue sweater
I wish everytime you came into my mind I could
Write you a letter
Words can't contain what I feel so for now, I'll just wait 'til
We're together
I'll hold on to your blue sweater, yeah

In my mind, I bring you back here
For as long as I allow
Oh, hurry, I'm starting to worry
I'll forget you now, but I don't know how
So I'll count down the days 'til I see you again
Who knew that it would feel like 200 years 'til then?

So I'll play the sweet sound of your voice inside my head
Like a record
And I'll smell the wonderful scent, oh, you captured within
Your blue sweater
I wish everytime you came into my mind I could
Write you a letter
Words can't contain what I feel so for now, I'll just wait 'til
We're together
I'll hold on to your blue sweater

It's the one that I've forgiven
If you have been to be listening
Take this chance with me 'cause we're living, yeah

I'll play the sweet sound of your voice inside my head
Like a record
And I'll smell the wonderful scent, oh, you captured within
Your blue sweater
I wish everytime you came into my mind I could
Write you a letter
Words can't contain what I feel so for now, I'll just wait 'til
We're together
I'll hold on to your blue sweater

I'll play the sweet sound of your voice inside my head
Like a record, like a record.
Like a record. Like a record.

It's just so perfect isn't it.. =)


let it snow.

I sure feel happy that I am lucky enough to live in a place where I can enjoy a white Christmas.
I am just so happy..
Because Canada is so beautiful in the winter.
Because snow crunches beneath my boots again.
Because I actually have to wear boots.
Because I have to brush my car off in the morning.
Because I can see my breath.
Because I have to wear my ear muffs.
Because my cheeks get pink when I walk outside.
Because snow makes the night silent.
Because my fireplace is so cozy.
Because snowflakes catch on my eyelashes and it looks pretty in pictures.
Because I have to wear long sleeved shirts to bed.
Because I have to wear slippers around my house.
Because it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.



Holy crap. 
I miss Cody.
A lot.

Here are some reasons why I miss my bestie.
Because he came with me to Vegas.

Because he is so much fun.

 Because he loves me even when I'm ugly.

 Because of his aviators. =)

Because he takes pictures with me on photobooth.
Lots of pictures. 

 Because he took me to a flames game when I smelled like Subway.

 Because he also loves the happiest place on earth.

 Because of the early morning visits. Because of how much he loved to lift me up. Because of how he made Carson take a video of this before he left.

 Because he likes to act cool when in reality he was trying really hard not to smile.

 Because he came to visit me at BYU after a week because he missed me already.

Because we visited temple square together and the whole time he tried to hold my hand but I wouldn't let him for some silly reason.

 Because my family loves him and because he loves my family.

Because this is hiding in the Waterton Apt. Oopsie. =)

 Because he has been gone for so long but he still loves me a whole lot.

 Because he looks real good as a missionary.

fam jam

I can't believe I've been home for practically ten whole days. Where does the time go? Oh wait. It goes extremely fast when you sleep 18/24 hours in a day. Just kidding, not quite that much. Good news. The swelling increased.. then decreased.

 Now that I can open my mouth approximately wide enough for one and a half fingers by day four, I think I am done with photos. Plus I think the swelling is going down. 
Yay me. Anyway. Now thats over..
Just a small thought.
I went to the high school basketball game tonight. It was the final, and they won. Yay. Go Cougars.
However, more than the game, I found myself watching the crowd. The students. The cheerleaders. As Karlee and I wandered into the gathering area I loved seeing the posters on the walls, the event calendar, the everything. I couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of nostalgia hiding deep in my heart.
I kinda miss high school, ya know?
I wouldn't go back, but I do miss the simplicity of life at that time.
I always had a boyfriend to kiss me goodnight.
I always had a bestie by my side.
I always had somewhere to be or a party to go to.
Serious. That was the life.
But then I remember how much has changed for me since high school.
 If I was still in high school, I'd be missing out.
You see, back then..
I didn't get along with my parents as well
(I had a curfew. Bleh.)
I didn't know where my life was headed.
I didn't have as strong of testimony of the gospel.
I didn't know how to study for a test. (haha seriously though)
I didn't know what love felt like.

I suppose graduating and moving on with life has been most definitely beneficial. 

 I've found I just love being home. Not necessarily doing anything but just being here. I've had some lovely times with some wonderful friends. Karlee has been a saint, as I have mentioned before.. running around for me and even sitting in my bed while I sleep. Love her. Also, I even spent an evening with my roomie Bailey . We must actually like each other and not just live together. It was nice to catch up for sure. Going from spending 24 hours a day with someone to zero is quite a jump.
 But my favorite times have been spent with my familyies. =) 
They have been the happiest to see me you know. 
And I am the happiest to see them.
I am happy they are all doing well. 
I love them. All of them.
And I am happy to be able to see them all again for another three ish weeks.
And then again after that, forever.


post wisdom.

Well. I'm officially 4x less wise. It wasn't as terrible as I expected. I have heard so many horror stories about puffing up like a chipmunk or passing out or being all out of it after, ya know? Nope. I mean. The whole thing is kind of creepy more than anything. Listening to them cauterize your flesh... remove some bone... slice your tooth.. hear the Sharpeys Fibres breaking.. and knowing that your deformed third molar is sliding right out of the alveolar bone?
I know I was out of it because of the laughing gas, but the entire time I just wanted to watch. Lucky work experience kid who got to watch the whole event. I came home and watched some videos on youtube. I suppose it will have to suffice.
I guess hygiene school will do that to ya. Getting all curious. Feeling all smart.
Yeah. It's creepier than anything. I thought the worst part was getting a second set of X-rays that set off my gag reflexes.. severely.. I won't go into details. Now that I am home and the delight of nitrous oxide has worn off, I do feel slightly crappy.  Not swollen though.. okay maybe a bit haha but not too bad.
I was also lucky enough to have my bestie Karlee take care of me. She picked me up and took me to get my drugs and got me ice packs and layed in bed alllll day and watched movies and made sure I took my T3s at the right time. What a saint.
Truth is, I'm kind of bored. It's hard not to be able to talk as much as I want. My brain feels fine and I'm not tired or anything. Mostly I just wanna go play... until I sneeze. Then I want to chop my head off.
Overall, it was a good day.
I like life ya know? I am feeling good. Positive. 
Which is good because for a while there things were a little clouded.
I guess they say a feeling of doubt and insecurity means something isn't right.
Well. Things are right again I think. Because I feel calm for the first time in quite a few days.
Sometimes I forget how simple life is if you let it be.
Excuse my ramblings.
Here's a little visual of post wisdom teeth extraction.
I couldn't smile any more.


Bob Marley solving world issues.

K but really. If he would live by this...

and she would live by this...

 So many more people would be happy.
Come on people. Be honest. 
Life's too short to play games.


moody music monday

Okay. I just woke up in a horribly grumpy mood today. I contemplated not getting out of bed. It happens okay? My bed was just cozy and my room was so dark. Anyway. I decided not to be depressed. I realized it was Monday and I love music monday. So, I decided to search through my itunes to find songs I forgot about. I found one. :) I actually found a lot. I may even post them for Tuesday Tunes or Whiny Wednesday or Thinking Thursday or Feel good Friday or Singing Saturday. We'll see. It's crazy how music can make me feel better. 

christmas gifts.

Today while I was waiting for church to start, I found my mind wandering. It has been doing that a lot. What am I saying. It always does that. Anyway, I started getting all caught up in my self pity and confusion and troubles in life, but then I glanced down to the church bulletin resting on my lap. This little gift was printed right in front of me. It made me smile, and I want to share.

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
~Oren Arnold

Then I started thinking about new things. My fussing and pity seemed to sink to the back of my mind as I thought about these letters placed together on the page sending such a lovely message.
It's Christmas.


To my enemy. Forgiveness.
 I can't exactly think of one particular person. But I do know that there are people that I have struggled to get along with in the past. People who have hurt me or done something that I don't agree with. I'm afraid I have a few grudges that I believe really should just disappear. I am going to do my best to find forgiveness. I know its possible if I stop dwelling on things that have happened in the past.

To my opponent. Tolerance.
To be honest, I don't have any particular opponents right now. Opposition? Yes. There is opposition in all things. So, dear opposition. Come as you may. I will tolerate you, because you exist. I will continue to exhibit a good attitude and do my best not to let the opposition to get the best of me.

To my friend. My heart.
My dear friends. Here is my heart. My heart is honest. My heart is full. It is forgiving. It is healing and growing. Here friend, my heart is yours. Take it. :)

To a customer.  Service.
I am not in any situation where I will be helping customers as I am currently unemployed, but I certainly do not mind giving service. There are opportunities to serve everywhere, inside and outside of the home. I don't mind helping, but I sometimes find myself serving unwillingly. I am going to make a constant effort to serve with a happy heart. It helps. Serving is always rewarding.

And to everyone. Charity.
What is charity? We are often asked this question. Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is loving someone as Christ would. This is a challenge, because I am far from perfect, but keeping the constant remembrance of the Savior and how he would treat others.

To every child. A good example.
Oh my, I have been developing such a deep love for children the past little while. Being in the primary has brought me such joy. They have so much joy and always help me to feel the spirit. I remember when I was little and looking up to the older kids who were in high school or going to college and thinking they were so old. I remember watching them and wishing I was them. I feel so young now, but I believe its the same. The children still watch. Setting a good example for children is more valuable than often realized. I wouldn't be who I am today without the example set by my older siblings and some of my friends older siblings.

To myself. Respect.
I am deserving of respect. I deserve to be treated as a Daughter of God. I don't deserve to be looked down upon or mocked. Unfortunately, life isn't that simple. I will not always be treated with respect. But I can respect myself enough to remember that I am a Daughter of God, and remember not to let the opinions of others affect the self image I have of myself.


new leaf.

I've written three different posts and just saved them into my drafts in the past few days. All I can come up with to share is that I'm still a little girl and I have no idea what I want in life. I can hardly pick out my clothes anymore. I used to be a great decision maker .. I think.. but now I am a decision avoider. Probably due to the fact that I keep making bad decisions. I'm a different person than I was a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, and even a day ago. Every day small events take place that are constantly shaping who I am and who I am becoming. Every day I change a little bit more and more. I think it's a good thing. For starters, I don't like people knowing things about my personal life. I used to broadcast so much it's embarrassing. I ask myself why I did that. Sometimes I forget people even read this thing.  Forgive me.. and I'm starting fresh. I'd start a new blog but thats lame and embarrassing. So, instead, I'm asking you to let me start over and don't judge me due to things I've said in the past.

Let me introduce myself.
I'm Jane. I'm turning twenty this month and that scares me. I am currently taking a fast track Dental Hygiene program in South Texas. Do I want to spend my life being a Dental Hygienist? No, not really. But maybe? I have no clue. Of course, I'll finish my program. I'm enjoying it thoroughly. I'll work, make some money, but I think after that, maybe I will move to Ecuador and save lives. Or maybe I will be a gypsy. Maybe I will take piano lessons again, or singing lessons. Maybe I will serve a mission. Maybe I will go back to University and become a teacher too. Maybe I will get married and have six kids. Maybe I won't though. Maybe I will become a journalist. Truth is, I have no idea where my life is headed. All I know is that I am Jane, and I give my whole heart to the things I love. I get sad when others are sad, and happy when others are happy. I enjoy honesty and all that it has to offer. Best policy for sure. Also, all I want is to be happy forever.

sidenote. Remember this song? I love it. It's been a while.


blog overload.

Prepare yourself for an overload of thoughts and pictures that have been hiding deep in the corner of my computer. It's been a while. Almost four months since I have sat on this very spot in my bed contemplating life and all it has to offer. But here I am. I am back.

Something about being home makes me want to blog about so many things. I feel like the blog was on the back burner while I was in Texas. Life is different there. I feel different there. I am a different person there. I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.. including the blog. I didn't know what to write. I just kind of made up a buncha stuff to fill space and appease people. Now that I am home.. I find myself itching to write about everything and everyone. I am definitely the most myself at home.

Being back here is making me face all my problems. I kind of like being able to hide from things and not deal with them. Life is easier that way.

I tried dealing with some problems. The problems I left hiding in my closet when I moved away. It's overwhelming. I forgot how many things I just shoved in my closet last minute. I really should try to clean it out, but I can't. Not yet. I'm not quite ready to grow up 100%.

Speaking of life being easy. Life is easy when you do what people expect you to. You don't have to explain anything. You don't have to justify anything. You don't have to come up with excuses. You can kind of just, slide through life unnoticed. Which is horribly wonderful.

People keep telling me to be selfish for once in my life and go for what I want. Thing is, I already am selfish and I already have. Thing is, I need to be selfless instead. Whenever I am selfish, selflessness gets shoved back in my face. It's fine really, just sometimes I wish selfishness could win without catching up with me.

Today I ran into Mr. Heninger.. my English 30 teacher. I confessed about my 70% paper. He made me feel better. He inspired hope in me again. The situation made me realize that the paper I wrote for hygiene school was a joke and the instructor isn't even a certified teacher yet. She is a lovely person, of course, but she teaches Prevention. Prevention is a class about floss and toothpaste. It reminded me that people who know what they are talking about when it comes to writing seem to think I have a talent. I think I will still try to write a book someday. What a soul-saver.

I ran into so many people that I know. I love being home. I love knowing people and I love having people know me. I love walking down the street and recognizing people. It makes me feel real.

I haven't kissed a boy for ten months. I know this is just a small thing to be thinking about but ten months is a long time okay. And I like kissing. There. I said it. I'm human.

Do you sometimes wonder about the things people don't say to you? The things people are thinking or the things they want to say but can't? I do. What if you are thinking the exact same things. What if that long lost friend is just as sad as you are that your friendship ended at age twelve. What if you really think her shirt looks terrible on her but just can't tell her. What if what if what if. What if two people are just, living the same thoughts, but won't share them? It's a tragedy, really.

Lady Antebellum's album "We Own the Night" is incredible. Every single song. And not just because I saw them live. They are an amazing band. My favorite songs of theirs right now are definitely Somewhere Love Remains, and Dancin' Away With My Heart. They are both just truly adorable songs. The kind of song that I overly anticipate the chorus. The kind of song that hits my soul deeply because its such a real song. Wow I'm such an emotional person it's almost embarrassing. Oh well.

I miss Sarah Jo already. She is a keeper.

I always have these expectations of how things are going to be. Graduating. Birthdays. College. Getting off a flight.  All of these things just continue to be so anticlimactic. Sure, grad was super fun. I had a pretty dress and my hair worked out well. My date drove a nice truck and he thought looked better than he did at his own grad. And he did. But then grad just came and went and then it was over. Maybe some peoples birthdays are great, but mine are lame. Maybe it's because its right after Christmas or something, but my birthday always ends up being lame. College. Sure. College is a blast. But lets be real, it's not how it looks in the movies. Its full of homework and homesickness and eating ichiban and saving pennies. It's hard. And it's exhausting. At least for me it is. Walking off a flight. Man it'd be so fun to walk off a flight to a loved one with a bouquet of flowers. It would be wonderful to jump into their arms and hug them and have tears join together in the joy of a happy reunion. Nope. That doesn't happen. I'm not being negative or anything but I can't help it. Life is dull sometimes. I hope I am not the only one. I'm tired of it. I want a grand gesture. I want something that changes my life. I want something fabulously magical to happen.

Okay that was slightly negative and almost came across suicidal? I love life, really. Sometimes I relish in the greyness of life. It sure makes you appreciate the color when it finally happens.

Last Sunday in primary, I was playing some hymns quietly before it began and Jennifer, 5, came and sat on the piano bench next to me like she does every week. She began to sing along softly, melting my heart. She looked at my hands and said to me, "I always wanted to play the piano.." She then proceeded to watch my hands and move hers up and down the piano as I did. In that moment I realized I wanted to be a teacher. Crap. I guess I will be having ten kids instead.


ron and leslie.

Out of the thousands and thousands of times I have walked through the front door of my house, I have never been as happy as I was today as my dad was rushing down the stairs to greet me into a ginormous hug. I cried. And then I saw my mom waiting at the top of the stairs so I ran and hugged her and we both cried again. Freak. I just love them. There is nothing like the open arms of parents. I love my family so much. I've been so blessed.  I am lucky enough to have my parents be two of my very best friends.

note to self. start taking more photos with the rents so I don't have to pull out the old grad photos. 


seven zero.

So I like to write. Surprised?
And I feel like I'm actually okay at it. It's just been my thing, ya know? I like doing it. I don't care if people like what I have to say, it is just something I like doing. It's therapeutic. Plus people tell me I'm good at it and that I should write a book and stuff. We'll see. But yeah. Everyone has their thing. There are the athletes and the musicians and the actors and actresses and the computer genius's and the artists and the chefs and the everything. I'm the writer. I like to write. I always liked to write. Then people started telling me that I was good at it. I started seeing good grades on my papers and essays. Then better grades. Then I started working really hard and getting perfect grades. People started asking me to edit stuff for them. Once I edited a magazine article. A real published magazine. People started asking my opinion on their own writing. People asked for more of what I had to say. Yeah, there have always been people who maybe don't like how I write. That's fine.. but usually I can just get past it. I even got 100% on my English 30-1 diploma essays.  Confidence booster, I tell ya. Perhaps I was overly-boosted?
Well. I've been humbled. 
I officially failed my first paper. 
I got it back without thinking much about it and the I noticed the big fat 
on the top. (anything lower than a 78% in my program is a fail). And to top it off... the paper was basically about brushing your teeth. Really? I can write a perfect paper on some weird topic like compromising your own happiness for the benefit of others and relating it to a twisted depressing novel.. but I can't whip something up about brushing teeth?
I'll take a C on a test. I'd be upset, yes, but I would be okay. I would move fast it. Laugh it off perhaps and strive to do better next time?
Not this.
My pride has been destroyed.

I wanna go home.
I wanna go back to English-30 where I am appreciated.
Apparently I'm not cut out for this program.



Well. I have finished four out of my nine finals for the semester. I have five more in the next three days. I should have spent the weekend studying. Right now I should be stressed out or reviewing notes or maybe even getting ready for bed. I should be cramming. I should be making flash cards or frantically searching for answers...... but for some reason.. 
all I can think about right now is how wonderful life would be if I were... 

a gypsy
How truly fabulous. Travelling the world from place to place. Dancing in the streets. Running away from everything. I would for sure run away to Europe. The streets of London are calling my name I believe. And then to Spain. And Ireland. I have always wanted to see Whales. Scotland. Ahhhh so much freedom? Seriously. Imagine that.

or a professional ballerina.
Imagine the calloused feet and aching joints. Or the incredibly toned muscles and the inner and outer strength that would be achieved. Imagine the blood, sweat, and tears. Imagine the complete gratification of being able to be apart of moving art and inspiring amateur dancers such as myself to become great. Ahhh how wonderfully fulfilling.

or a writer
Hiding deep in the streets of Manhattan. 
Perhaps aching to be published in the copious columns of big time NY magazines. 
Or maybe just striving to become that delicious book discovered in the corner of an antique store, seventy five years from now. Or maybe just living off of that thrill of knowing that someone likes what you have to say.

Perhaps in another lifetime.


rant rant rant

I've kinda been called a pushover my whole life. I didn't ever believe it until I realized I was.. ya know? But the thing is, I'm not so much a pushover in the sense that I don't stand up for myself. When it comes down to it, I will stick up for myself. I have no problem voicing my opinion when it matters. And to be honest, I sometimes think there is a possibility that I'm a confident person these days. (My teenage years must be coming to an end or something?) Anyway. I am pretty sure the reason people think I'm a pushover is because I hate conflict. If someone asks me to do something for them (within reason), I'd rather just do it than create unnecessary tension by not doing it.. So I guess I kinda let people boss me around sometimes. (Which is interesting considering how bossy I can be..?) Maybe it's not necessarily a good thing.. but it's just who I am. I would rather others have it their way than for them to be mad because it is my way. I don't know if that makes sense. I guess I just hate when people don't like me. That's probably not necessarily always a good thing either.  And there is a little part of me that wishes sometimes I would care a little bit more and have a stronger opinion about the trivial things, but then there is this bigger overpowering part of me that insists I do whatever it takes to make sure everyone else is happy to prevent any sort of tension from thickening in the room. Whatever. I have just been doing some thinking is all.  No summary. No solution.

Oh PS. I get to go home in a week. AH.


yes yes.

I was introduced to this song by my friend Desiree.
 I absolutely love it and I can't stop listening to it. 


wishful thinking

{I wish} I was already home for Christmas
{I wish} I had an unopened envelope sitting in my mailbox
{I wish}  I was lying in my king-sized bed instead of sitting on a futon
{I wish} my upstairs neighbours didn't insist on getting drunk all the time so I didn't have to wake up to them throwing up every morning
{I wish} I was finishing my last semester of college.. not my first
{I wish} I had enough money to buy Christmas gifts for everyone I know
{I wish} online shopping wasn't so easy...
 {I wish} my car was here
{I wish} people could see their own potential so they would stop doing stupid things
{I wish} Amber was here to make my hair cute
{I wish} people didn't steal things out of cars
{I wish} I was at home for the alumni games in my cheer uniform
{I wish} the U key on my keyboard wasn't popped off. (really can anyone fix it for me?)
{I wish} the hot tub outside my apartment was working

but then.. life would be uninteresting
and I wouldn't have very much to look forward to in the future.


it's monday blogworld. =)

I have so many songs I would like to choose for Music Monday today... but I have been able to narrow it down to one.

Love. Love. Love.

and so many more to come. 


don't be a hater

Okay. Vent session.
I have this pet peeve. 
Haters. You know? Haters always voice their negative opinions so strongly.
Just because you don't like something doesn't mean you have to preach against it.
It's like the Biebs. You can't deny the kid has talent. 
You don't have to love the Biebs. You don't ever have to listen to him.. but that doesn't mean you have to go around telling everyone that he sucks and spend your life trying to convince others that he has no talent by creating hating fb pages and what not. Serious. I worked with a few people this summer that spent their days trying to convince me how terrible he was.
It drove me crazy. Not saying everyone has to like the Biebs. People have their opinions, that's cool.
Just don't dedicate your life to trying to convince everyone that you are right.
It happens with a lot of things, and it has really started to drive me crazy.
Country music another example.
Have you ever noticed that if someone doesn't like country music.. they constantly criticize it and always speak out about how much they hate it and how terrible it is?
You always know a country music hater.
I don't like lots of styles of music. Does that matter?
The list just goes on and on.
Breaking Dawn is my newest example.
A lot of people just aren't fans of the Twilight Saga.
That's cool. No one said you have to be into that sorta thing.
Yeah, I get that its kinda annoying how some people just take everything one step too far.
Hype kinda drives me nuts too...
but its not affecting me.
Let people get all excited. It's not hurting anyone.
A lot of people hated the movie. That's fine. 
But I find it so frustrating when I log into facebook or sign on to twitter and find a million status updates or tweets about how terrible the movie was.
Find something better to do with your time then convince the world how terrible it was.
The world has enough negativity. 
Keep your mouth shut and let those who enjoyed it, enjoy it in peace.
I, happened to LOVE Breaking Dawn.
The movies just keep getting better and better.
And the soundtrack! Oh my. It was fabulous.
And Edward. He is just getting better looking.
I was absolutely thrilled the entire time.
Since when is hating the cool thing to do?
I feel like that is what the world is coming to.
I swear, half the haters out there just hate to be different from everyone else.
So many people think its cool to be different, which it is, that they hate because it puts the fans down.
No doubt when I love something and someone hates it it kinda makes me feel like crap.
But whatever. I love the Biebs, and country music, and Breaking Dawn. End of story

Now, everyone doesn't have to agree with me. I don't mind. And yes, I understand it goes both ways. Haters hate seeing all over facebook and twitter how incredible it was when they really thought it was terrible. But hey, at least if the haters keep their mouths shut it makes the world a lot more positive right?
Pretty sure we got enough negativity to last and the world can use a little more optimism.
That is all.


dedicated to carson. =)

Apparently I never blog. 
This one is for you lil brother{practically}.
Thank you for being such a sweetheart and caring so much about people.
Oh. And thanks for coming to the hockey game the week Cody left and tag along with you and your friends.
Thanks for sending me those texts you found on Cody's old phone.
And the picture.
Is the little light still purple and yellow when I text you?
or did you figure out how to change it?
Thanks for listening to me rant and whine.
Thanks for texting me when you miss Cody.
Thanks for always having a good attitude.
You are going to be an amazing missionary, did you know that?
Cody will be so proud.
And so will your family.
and me too.

Love you little brother. :)


that is all. :)

Today is a little bit epic. It is 11/11/11
I don't have anything exciting to blog about.
In fact, I am kind of busy today and don't have time to sit until I feel inspired.
I will simply say it is 11/11/11 and 11:11 just passed and I love Cody still. :)


yes this happens.

Sometimes I just stop and think of you.
And sometimes I wonder if in that moment, you are thinking of me too.


crazier things have happened. okay no they haven't.

Cool crazy things never happen to me. 
I never have cool stories to tell or exciting adventures. 
Okay well I like my life and such but ya know? 
I feel like nothing super crazy cool has ever happened to me.. until LAST NIGHT.
As previously posted, last night I went to Lady Antebellum! Oh my word. To start off, the concert was amazing. They were incredible live. 

Anyway. The highlight of the night was possibly after the concert. We were walking to Bailey's car when we saw a group of people hanging by a fence out back and we were like.. cool what if they come out! So Bailey and I ran over there. The security guards were telling us that they already left and trying to get us to leave. There was a crowd of maybe 30-40 people but Bailey and I were at the front. Slowly people started leaving and such.. the crowd was now probably at about fifteen people. We were deciding if we should leave and such then BAM. Out walks the guitar player/singer for Lady Antebellum.. Dave Haywood! 
He dropped all his things and walked over to the fence where the crowd was and started giving autographs and shaking hands with everyone. 
Bailey grabbed his hand while I held my camera out to him to take a picture. He took the camera from my hand and then snapped a picture with us! He then shook our hands again and kept walking down the line. I was shaking! It was the craziest coolest thing ever. I've never met anyone famous before and now I have a picture with one!


mondays music and a little snape.

I stole this song from Chanel. It's most definitely a keeper.
Thanks Chanel! I just had to pass it along again.
Happy Music Monday blogworld!

aand this cracks me up for some reason.


a thousand more. =)

If anyone ruins this song for me like "Jar of Hearts" was ruined for me I will be very upset.
This means. Don't try to sing like her. It doesn't work.
Don't overplay it.
 Don't butcher it. Just enjoy.
Okaythanks. =)

Ps. Don't mind the "Breaking Dawn" scenes throughout the video. haha


Sorry Steph, I know how much you hate long posts.

My best friend turned twenty today. That frightens me a little bit. 
This photo of us from six years ago also frightens me a little bit.

I remember the moment Steph and I became friends. I think she remembers too.
"Wanna come color?"
I sat beside Malarie Bevans and the three of us just immediately hit it off.
Yep. We were in grade four. 
It all just went from there.
In grade five her classroom was the one next to mine, but despite the distance, we remained best friends.
I remember she wrote a story every week about George and Martha. Just a lil tidbit of info for ya.
Sometime that year we moved into Bianca's house too I'm pretty sure.
We played Nancy Drew every weekend.. all weekend? 
and we actually played it. Like make believe. She was always Phillip.
The random old guy.
In grade six we really hit our prime I believe. Skippin recess to play cards and such.
We sure lived it up. Sometimes I used to miss grade six. Then I remembered how terrible we were.
One time Stephanie farted in music and because I was sitting next to her, she pointed at me.
Everyone believed her. Terrible. I forgave her though. It was funny.
In grade seven our desks were still separated by brick walls and our lockers were separated by E through Q. We managed to stay friends.
This year we both lost a best friend.
I think we cried each other to sleep at night.
Maybe I just cried and Steph stared at me and didn't know what to do.
Just kidding. We were both devastated. But I think we were closer because of it.
I'm pretty sure Steph use to always have dreams about me being really mean to her. I am hoping these were always just dreams and I wasn't ever that mean to her.
Ask her about them. She may even still have them.
Grade eight I was a lame-o best friend to Steph, but she always stayed a perfect-o best friend to me.
Stephanie was the most loyal friend I ever met. Even ask my mom. She will tell ya. 
She wins that award easy-peasy.
In grade nine I think we had some classes together. Which was nice, although it made no difference because we were besties anyway. We did football stats together this year. It was a lovely time.
She was always there when I'd cry. Never offering advice, because thats not what she did.
But she listened.
Sometimes you don't want advice, ya know?
Just a listener. She's the best. And I was a drama-queen. It's embarrassing.
She loved me anyway.
In grade ten, I remember in CALM class we took these personality quizzes and such.
We always ended up at opposite ends of the spectrum. We decided thats what made us such good friends, ya know?
She toned down my annoyingness. She was good for me.
I like to think I brought out some good qualities in her too, but it's hard to say. She was good for me though, thats for sure.
In grade eleven we had our separate lives because I decided to be a cheerleader and she did not.... but still kept close. I think this was the year I got all ten seasons of F.R.I.E.N.D.S for Christmas.
Did you know we watched every.single.episode together? Yep. All 238 episodes. Plus the bonus features.
In grade twelve we decided to go and graduate. We were closer this year than the previous. I remember asking myself why I spent so many weekends without her during grade eleven. 
We danced together. We cried together. We were Fireflies together. We ripped T-shirts together.
I think dancing together brought us very close.
She even helped me when I sucked at remembering the dances. She was such a fast learner.
She had a side of the bed at my house you know. Toothbrush? I forget. Maybe at one point.
I drove her around. I liked driving her around... and she hated driving around.
After we graduated after a few turn of events, we both ended up living at home for another year.
We decided to go to California and also dragged along our other two best friends with us. 
Stephanie loves Disneyland like I love Disneyland.
Stephanie also loves musicals more than I love musicals, I'm pretty sure.
But we saw Lion King together, where we may or may not have shed a tear or two.
And now? Steph has bought me a ticket for Beauty and the Beast in December.
She's the best, isn't she.
Okay. I could go on forever, because Stephanie has been my best friend since forever.
Now, Stephanie turned twenty today, and she is in North Carolina and I am in Texas.
And it's odd.
I would very much like her to confuse my nose with a teddy bear or wake up with a heavy metal ball in her chest or perhaps drink a Barqs by my side tonight.
I miss her terribly, and I cannot wait to see her face on Dec 21.


just be happy.

I haven't been a very avid blogger lately.
I have been busy living life.
It's been grand.

I like this lovely little thought quite a lot.

Don't mind if I do. 



A Day for the Music Monday Blogging Books.

I think this is most appropriate for today. It being Music Monday and Mistletoe Monday all in one day? What a celebration.

Released Monday October 17, 2011

 Go buy it!

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