Jordi says our apartment smells like estrogen.

First of all.. an apology for all of these:

Have I mentioned I'm technically challenged? 

I write my NDHBE in five days.

National Dental Hygiene Board Examination.

That is pretty much the biggest test I have ever written, or will ever write.

Yes, this trumps my English 30-1 diploma... by a lot.

Pretty much I'm a tiny bit stressed about it.

So are my roomies. We all handle stress so differently. It's kind of humorous.

 Let's just say our emotions are all running pretty high these days. It will be so nice to get this test over with so we can all be functional human beings again. 

Hmmm while I'm thinking about it... just a brief apology to anyone who has had to deal with me and my unpredictable emotions over the past couple weeks. I promise I'm not always like this.

My sleeping habits are terrible. Terrible.

And they have been for about two weeks now.

I'm so surprised I'm not deathly ill by now. 

But life is so good. The weather has been warming up a tiny bit. Texas is lovely. I have the sweetest roommates. And my best friend is back from the dead. Oh and by dead I just mean Puerto Rico.

And it's like he never even left. Except now he speaks Spanish. It's pretty cool.

I haven't seen him in real life yet because I live in Texas and he lives at home. But that's fine, for now.

Have I ever mentioned how proud I am of him?

I am. 

He's changed like a million percent, but at the same time.. not at all. 

I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by getting emotional so I'll stop now. =)

I also really need a hair cut. I don't think I have ever neglected my hair so much in my whole life. 

Amber if you ever read this.. please don't judge my split ends. I'll take care of it someday.. promise.

Life is not perfect. 

I don't think life ever really is entirely perfect. 

But it certainly is wonderful, and I'm not sure I have ever been happier. 

And I have a feeling it's just going to get better.

x

"I'm eating junk and watching rubbish! You better come out and stop me!"

Yesterday my two lovely room mates Sarah and Bailey packed up the car and drove 27 hours to Utah. 27 hours. That's just one way.
I almost went with them. Almost. They've been planning this trip for a couple weeks and they have been trying to convince me.
They came quite close, here and there.
I'm a fan of road trips and such. I love spontaneous things.
And let me tell you, this was tempting.
You see, my sister and her husband live in Utah, two of my best friends live in Utah, my mom and brother are going to visit this weekend there, and my other best friend is going to Utah too. Everyone is going to Utah.
We saints sure know how to gather.
Except for me I guess.
I simply just didn't want to go.
Maybe it was the fact that I didn't want to drive for 27 hours.. x2
Or maybe it was because I still haven't quite recovered from my trek from Canada to Texas last January...
Or maybe I just want to hide in Texas a little bit longer..
Or maybe I just simply felt like having the weekend to myself.
Whatever the reason is, I find myself alone in my apartment and let me tell you, I am happy as a clam.
I could definitely live alone. I love my room mates. Let me make sure that's clear. They are the best. But I'm just throwing this out there.. I'm kind of a loner sometimes and I kind of like it that way.
I haven't said any words for hours now and I just really like that.
Is it weird that my thoughts keep me plenty company?
No, I don't hear voices. But I sure do think a lot.
So far, I have read a book, suntanned at the pool, watched ten episodes of Gilmore Girls, painted my toenails and my fingernails, took two naps, and ate pizza, twice.
I'm not even going crazy being alone. Not even a little bit.
I still have Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and half of Tuesday until they come back.
So much time.
Tomorrow I'm having a candlelit bubble bath and going shopping I think.
I might make a cake but just eat the batter and not bake it. I'm not sure. That may be pushing it.
Who am I kidding. That sounds awesome right now.
Well, that's all right now. Hope everyone else's weekends are as positively wonderful as mine.

source

Oh, and now that everyone knows I'm home alone for four more days, I'm double locking the door so don't even bother trying to break in. Also, Sarah and Bailey both left their mace behind. 

Adios Amigos. Actually.

I want to go homeeeee. I haven't been home since Christmas. I know I shouldn't complain because lots of people go much longer than seven months without being home, but oh well. I'm complaining anyway.

I miss Waterton. I miss my cute little uniform that I got to wear all last summer. Oh and by cute I mean ugly. But wonderful nonetheless. I miss the mountains. I miss the smell of crisp air in the morning. I miss the deer. I miss the freezing cold lake. I miss Big Scoop. I miss Scrubway. I miss Pat and Ralph, and Anders. I miss the campground Kiosks. I miss being greeted at the gate by Bart, or Ethan. I miss the cute little movie theater. I miss the golf cart, and the club car. I miss Crandell and seeing 9283749238 bears on the drive there. I miss spraying down the bathrooms and squeegie-ing the camp kitchens. How the heck to you spell squeegie? I miss angry campers. Okay mostly I miss telling everyone about the crazy campers. I miss everything. I had the best job last summer. Ever. Confession: I have a dream about once a week that I am all geared up in my green pants and polo, cruising the campground on the golf cart like a champ. Seriously miss it.

I miss Cardston, all lit up at night. I miss driving and seeing the temple glowing. I miss my giant bed and how it feels like a cloud. I miss the unpredictable weather. I miss being able to be outside and not have to worry about all my makeup dripping off my face from humidity. I miss rootbeer slurpees from Reddi Mart. I miss BBQing with my dad in the backyard. I miss tanning with my mom on the deck. I miss my besties. I miss having sleepovers and watching movies all day. I miss not having to study for tests. I miss not having to wake up early. I miss the colorful Canadian currency. I miss saying garbage instead of trash, and bayg and flayg instead of bAAG and flAAAg without being laughed at.

I miss Canada. I want to go home. Texas is lovely and I am loving my time here, but it simply is just not home. Okay now that I have that all out, I should go pack because I am going home in two days! =)

x

I'm going to the beach today.

I don't think I will be getting in the water though. 

You see, we will be fishing for sharks.

Yes, sharks.

Luring them to the shore.

Gah.

I will stay on the shore thankyouverymuch.

Wish me luck; it's supposed to be a hundred degrees.

Plus humidity.

I might die. From a shark... or heat. Either way.

I might die.

If I do, it was nice knowing y'all

even though I don't really know y'all.

Whatever.

Happy Saturday!

+

If only it rained more in Texas

It's thundering outside and I had a three hour nap.

It's a good day.

+

love month.

Well its February. Meaning its Love month. Since I didn't exactly celebrate Valentine's day this year, I'm just going to make a list of some of the things I love about life right now. There are a lot. Starting with this Valentines day gift I bought myself... a new swimming suit. =)

 

I love the fact that I can suntan in February.

I love online shopping... your clothes come right to your door.

I love cruising through the Military Academy.

I love being able to sleep in as late as I want on Mondays.

I love school right now.

I freaking love scraping calculus off of teeth.

I love my polka dot swimming suit.

I love that my hair is easy to do now.

I love texts from my parents.

I love getting letters.

I love the Wesmer Drive In theater.

I love that the beach is so close.

I love that spring break is in just over three weeks.

I love that my bestie Kate is coming to visit me in May.

I love that I can say.. "I'm graduating next year"

I love that I'm not homesick.

I love that I am actually enjoying learning.

I love playing the piano for the Primary kids.

I love painting my nails.

I love my H6/7.

I love that we say things such as.. "if I was an instrument.. I'd be the *insert instrument name*"

I love sleeping with the fan up really high.

I love when the shower doesn't have bugs in it in the morning.

I love the feeling of coming home after working out and being able to fall back asleep.

I love when Karen yells.."PEACHY!" after Nora asks how we are doing.

I love saying y'all.

I love my family.

I love everyone who is like family to me.

I love choosing the yellow exercise ball.

I love those little pretzyl things Bailey made for Valentine's day.

I love how the last six times I've gone to a movie theater, I've got the seat behind the bar, allowing me the luxury of putting my feet up. I love that thing.

I love having a fridge full of groceries.

I love that I still have a huge supply of Bicks Dill Pickles from Canada because my mom made me get one extra jar before I came.

I love the mini bags of Old Dutch S&V and Ketchup chips hiding in my closet.

I love that I'm going to take a nap right now instead of studying. Happy Love month blog world.

baaack to the Rio Grande Valley

I made it. I drove almost 4000km to get here, but I made it.

And I'm alive.

And I never have to make that trip again.. until next year when I go home. No big deal.

I have already learned a few things since I got back this semester.

First. Sarah makes me so very happy and I don't know how I survived a whole month without her.

I'm so lucky to have the roomies that I do. I love both of them.

I miss my mom. She is the best.

People love Canadians for some reason. I tell ya. Whenever I tell an instructor I'm from Canada their eyes light up.. I'm not even kidding. I see a giant A appear in their eye as they start asking me questions about where I'm from and get all excited if I know the places they have visited.

Good thing I was voted "Teachers Pet" in my graduating class in HS.

It's embarrassing, but whatever.

Thanks to the Canadians who have paved the way before me.

I decided to organize my facebook chat and newsfeed into groups. Anyone I added into the group "family" was sent a request to add me as a family member without me knowing it. Thats super awkward because I put a lot of people in that group who aren't really my family. "Oh hi, Janeen wants to be apart of your family so please add her and describe your relationship to her with either daughter.. sister.. niece even though she is none of the above..... etc" You get the point. So peoples. Be careful who you add to the group family because they will find out.

I decided once again to exercise regularly as my new years resolution. It's already Jan 12 and I haven't even moved a muscle yet. Fail already.. terrible. So what do I do? I register for a 10km race on the weekend. I'm going to die. Talk about over compensating... if I never blog again after this weekend you will know how I died. 

This semester has given me a whole new perspective on the poor student feeling.

Poor student. Poor me.

I'm not a morning person. I don't know how I did it last summer. I actually woke up at six almost every day last summer. Even my days off I was awake by 7:30 or 8:00. What the heck. I can't even hardly get myself out of bed by 7:30 anymore. And when I do get up, I have to spend five minutes holding my eyes open or else I will fall asleep getting ready for school.

I have a baby crush on my microbiology teacher. He's Spanish and handsome and strict and without saying a word he stares deep into your soul and penetrates his silent eyes into the corners of your brain hypnotizing you into working harder than you ever have in your life. He also occasionally drives a motorized scooter to school. Not a moped. Like a stand-on scooter. Yeah. One of those. Helmet and all.

He is also the owner of the best pizza place in the valley. Part time heart throbber micro teacher part time pizza dough flipper. Now that's a real man, I tell ya.

Okay so that was over the top.

Here we go again. Another thing I learned.

Sometimes I do that. Take things one step too far.

I'm taking this class called Art Appreciation. Ask me about it tomorrow and I will tell you a story.

I'm super tired so I'm going to bed.

I'm gonna miss this place.

Welll I'm going back to Texas in approximately 8-11 hours depending on when Bailey gets to leave the dentist in the morning.

Poor soul.

It was such a lovely month at home. Perfect really. 

I definitely had some moments I wish not to repeat never happened. So I am going to pretend they never happened and move on. =)

I think I grew up this month. I guess I am always growing up and yeah, I turned twenty and stuff, but in all seriousness..

 something has changed within me..

Something is not the same.. 

I'm through with playing the rules

 or someone else's gaaaamme

Okay I just had a moment and started singing that song in my head and it came through my fingers. 

For those bloggers and blogstalkers out there that didn't catch on an thought I was trying to be inspirational, I actually just accidentally just started singing Defying Gravity from Wicked. 

But really. I'm different... again. Man I keep changing huh? Word.

I freaking miss my brothers and sisters so much already I am adding three/four hours onto my thirty six hour drive so I can see Jenn and Brian again.

And I'm so excited. 

I always have a good time with my family, but this time it was different..

I have the best siblings. Seriously. I don't ever remember ever getting in a fight what my brother, ever. He has never had anything rude to say to me. He treats all his little sisters so well. 

And my sisters? Where would I be without my sisters. They have taught me so much, good and bad. =) 

And my brothers in-law. They just fit so well with our family. It's so great. I just love when everyone is altogether. 

Anyway. Besides having a blast with my family, this Christmas was special for me.

I definitely had some much needed answers to prayers... on more than one occasion.

They came in ways I wasn't expecting.

The Lord really watches out for all of His children. I'm so grateful to know that I am in his constant care.

I also really like this little thought.

Well. Enough. I like this place called home and I'm going to miss it.

I'm going to miss my parents so much. They have been way too good to me. 

Oh crap I'm going to cry all over again.

Well. Adios amigos. Wish me luck on my cross country drive. I'm gonna need it.

2011 is overrrr.

Okay so everyone keeps doing these awesome 2011 in review posts and I have to jump this bandwagon.

January: This was a good month. It had its low points for sure, but high points included seeing a flames game for my birthday, waking up at the crack of dawn to go wake up Cody in the morning because it was funny and I worked nights, and starting my job at the dance studio. I taught my first dance class this month. It was the best.

Flames vs Islanders

February: Welll folks this is when my best friend left. It was a weird month. To be honest, I don't really remember anything specific. Life just kept moving and I just tried my best to keep up. I worked a lot and cried a lot. I also finished my application for TSTC I'm pretty sure. Hard to say. Like I said.. Feb. was a blur.

Okay story time/confession time. The last weekend before Cody left, we decided we wanted to test drive a vehicle. So, in order to be believable, we bought a fake diamond ring from Walmart and pretended to be engaged and went to a car dealership. We almost bought a 2011 Toyota Corolla. It was a lovely day. This photo was taken on our way to the dealership.. Don't tell anyone okay =)

March: I quit my job at Subway this month and it was the best thing I did. =) I fell in love with my little dancers and it was so very rewarding. I applied for a summer job as well and at the end of March, I received my acceptance letter for TSTC-Harlingen in the mail. It was a bit of a relief to say the least. I also believe this is the month that I met Ryann. I can't believe it was that long ago. Crazy business. She came along just in time. =) My friend Dallin also left on his mission this month.

I'm super lame and didn't take any pics in March. This is one Cody sent me in March though from the Dominican Republic.

April: My sister Sheriann and her husband Chad took me to Florida with them. Amazing. I love Florida. We went to Harry Potter World and Disneyworld and jus had a grand old time. Cody also decided to go and turn twenty this month. He also finally made it to Puerto Rico.

Epcot Center - Orlando FL

May: I started my new summer job for Parks Canada and finished my job at the dance studio. The dance recital was great and my little dancers just made me ohsoproud. I started taking courses online for my program at TSTC. I guess you could say it was the start of semester 1/6. I also got to talk to Cody on the phone for mother's day. His family was just so sweet to invite me over.

Jodi's Dance Academy Recital - Bunnies (Tiny Tots Ballet)

June: Does anyone remember June? I don't. Oh wait. I went to the Magrath Ballet and am still inspired. Yeah, it was that good. I also got Lasik eye surgery. Best decision I ever made even though I had to wear creepy little sunglasses and I had creepy little red spots on my eyes for a month after.

Again. Super lame and didn't take any pictures this month so here is one Cody sent in June

July: My siblings came to visit this month but I was working all the time and it was so sad. My bedtime was at about 8:00pm every night. It was so depressing. I slept through the Canada Day fireworks too. Chronic Fatigue or something. Ryan left on his mission and left me on my lonesome for institute. Just kidding. I started enjoying work this month because I finally figured out what I was doing and made some friends.

Jennica and I at Cameron Falls in Waterton in our matchy Pat's sweaters

August: I finished all of my online courses and even passed. I finished my job, packed up my life, hopped on a plane and went to South Texas. Mexas actually. Yes, I moved right by the Mexican border. I moved in with Bailey and Becky and I started college{again}. I met Sarah Jo and Becca and Jordi and Matthew..my new family.

My roomies and myself getting water for the first time. It was monumental k?

September: I went to Schlitterbahn. I fell in love with Blue Bell. I started watching Grey's Anatomy again. I started learning how to clean teeth. I missed my family a tiny bit. I discovered the Forever 21 department store. I ate out too much. It was a good month.

After a day at Schlitterbahn in San Antonio

October:  I took midterms and didn't fail. I started feeling comfortable with my professors and with school. We made Canadian Thanksgiving dinner. I went to the beach with Sarah and Bailey and experienced red tide and sandcastle days. I volunteered at a Boys and Girls club. I also carved my first pumpkin and enjoyed it. We took candy and eggnog to the missionaries for Halloween.

Sarah Jo, Bailey and myself at South Padre

November: I saw Lady Antebellum and met Dave Haywood. I did all my Christmas shopping and became addicted to online shopping. I was robbed on Black Friday. I stil suntanned this month just because I could. I ate a million times too much for American thanksgiving and fell in love with pumpkin pie. I also went to the San Antonio temple and a YSA conference.. YSA is the same everywhere...

Just Bailey and I with Dave Haywood. No big deal. =)

December: I CAME HOME! I started crying all the time. I played with my siblings every day and I had the best christmas ever. I gotta talk to Cody again. Amber chopped my hair off. I got my wisdom teeth taken out. I went rock climbing and it was awesome. Basically I realized how lucky I am to have some an amazing family. I had such a great time with everyone.

Me plus sisters with matching Christmas pjs. =)

2011 was lovely, but I am definitely welcoming 2012 with open arms. =)

ramble ramble update.

I've been slacking. I think its time for a quick rambling update on life, just for the record.

Christmas was perfect. I love my family so much. I kept having to hide in the bathroom the day my oldest sister was leaving because I kept almost crying. I don't cry. I won't even talk about the day Jenn and Brian left. I'm going to cry just thinking about it. Whats wrong with me? Who is this emotional person I have become? It's freaking me out.

Speaking of Christmas and such. Did I mention how perfect it was? In every aspect? Okay, just making sure..

I turned twenty. Steph, one of my best friends, bought me a ticket to see Beauty and the Beast on broadway. I'm lucky, I know. My two other besties Karlee and Katelyn came for the trip and we made a stop in Banff National Park and then all headed to Calgary and spent the night. After the show I got back to a birthday pizza and a decorated hotel room. How adorable right?

I have become this ridiculous bawl baby. I don't even know what happened. I didn't cry hardly all fall being thousands of miles away from my family in a strange land with strange people and strange food. Okay, just kidding its not that strange. But for serious, I break into tears over anything slightly emotional. It's humiliating. 

So, ... it's 2012. Weird. 

People start talking about how Cody's gonna be home in like a year. That also freaks me out a little bit. Time is flying people. Flying. 

I'm kinda excited to go back to Texas. I miss it a tiny bit. My apartment, although rather musty and cockroach infested, it is quaint and homey. I miss my room mates. I miss Sarah Jo. 

So even though this is so contradictory to my last statement.. I am already feeling homesick and I haven't even left. I didn't feel homesick the entire fall but now every time I think about leaving I tear up. Bawl baby. I tell ya.

Did I mention I cut my hair? Well. I didn't. Amber did and I'm so happy about it. Yep. Chopped it right off. Here is a before/after.

Jus call me a poser or something..

Best thing I ever did. Thank you Amber =)

I realized I am a socially awkward person in large social settings. Serious. Put me in a huge crowd and I kinda freak out and want to be invisible and look like an ugly duckling following around my mother when I find one person I know. Put me in a room with five people I know really well and I'm great. Comfortable. I laugh and stuff and tell jokes sometimes. Ask anyone of those five people. Just don't ask the 200 people at the ginormous party. Like I said. Duckling. A lost duckling.

I'm incredibly poor suddenly. I was always poor. I'm a student. It happens. But for some reason things just keep popping up unexpectedly. $90... $200.. $60.. $300.. these numbers just keep appearing and its really ruining my hopes and dreams of ever buying any new clothing again.

Happy New Years bloggers. New Years Resolutions.. hmm. Let's just say I'm gonna try to get into better shape and maybe cut back on my online shopping? I think that's possible. Nothing too serious. No numbers no dates set. 

Ok. I'm bored. Peace out.

blog overload.

Prepare yourself for an overload of thoughts and pictures that have been hiding deep in the corner of my computer. It's been a while. Almost four months since I have sat on this very spot in my bed contemplating life and all it has to offer. But here I am. I am back.

Something about being home makes me want to blog about so many things. I feel like the blog was on the back burner while I was in Texas. Life is different there. I feel different there. I am a different person there. I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.. including the blog. I didn't know what to write. I just kind of made up a buncha stuff to fill space and appease people. Now that I am home.. I find myself itching to write about everything and everyone. I am definitely the most myself at home.

Being back here is making me face all my problems. I kind of like being able to hide from things and not deal with them. Life is easier that way.

I tried dealing with some problems. The problems I left hiding in my closet when I moved away. It's overwhelming. I forgot how many things I just shoved in my closet last minute. I really should try to clean it out, but I can't. Not yet. I'm not quite ready to grow up 100%.

Speaking of life being easy. Life is easy when you do what people expect you to. You don't have to explain anything. You don't have to justify anything. You don't have to come up with excuses. You can kind of just, slide through life unnoticed. Which is horribly wonderful.

People keep telling me to be selfish for once in my life and go for what I want. Thing is, I already am selfish and I already have. Thing is, I need to be selfless instead. Whenever I am selfish, selflessness gets shoved back in my face. It's fine really, just sometimes I wish selfishness could win without catching up with me.

Today I ran into Mr. Heninger.. my English 30 teacher. I confessed about my 70% paper. He made me feel better. He inspired hope in me again. The situation made me realize that the paper I wrote for hygiene school was a joke and the instructor isn't even a certified teacher yet. She is a lovely person, of course, but she teaches Prevention. Prevention is a class about floss and toothpaste. It reminded me that people who know what they are talking about when it comes to writing seem to think I have a talent. I think I will still try to write a book someday. What a soul-saver.

I ran into so many people that I know. I love being home. I love knowing people and I love having people know me. I love walking down the street and recognizing people. It makes me feel real.

I haven't kissed a boy for ten months. I know this is just a small thing to be thinking about but ten months is a long time okay. And I like kissing. There. I said it. I'm human.

Do you sometimes wonder about the things people don't say to you? The things people are thinking or the things they want to say but can't? I do. What if you are thinking the exact same things. What if that long lost friend is just as sad as you are that your friendship ended at age twelve. What if you really think her shirt looks terrible on her but just can't tell her. What if what if what if. What if two people are just, living the same thoughts, but won't share them? It's a tragedy, really.

Lady Antebellum's album "We Own the Night" is incredible. Every single song. And not just because I saw them live. They are an amazing band. My favorite songs of theirs right now are definitely Somewhere Love Remains, and Dancin' Away With My Heart. They are both just truly adorable songs. The kind of song that I overly anticipate the chorus. The kind of song that hits my soul deeply because its such a real song. Wow I'm such an emotional person it's almost embarrassing. Oh well.

I miss Sarah Jo already. She is a keeper.

I always have these expectations of how things are going to be. Graduating. Birthdays. College. Getting off a flight.  All of these things just continue to be so anticlimactic. Sure, grad was super fun. I had a pretty dress and my hair worked out well. My date drove a nice truck and he thought looked better than he did at his own grad. And he did. But then grad just came and went and then it was over. Maybe some peoples birthdays are great, but mine are lame. Maybe it's because its right after Christmas or something, but my birthday always ends up being lame. College. Sure. College is a blast. But lets be real, it's not how it looks in the movies. Its full of homework and homesickness and eating ichiban and saving pennies. It's hard. And it's exhausting. At least for me it is. Walking off a flight. Man it'd be so fun to walk off a flight to a loved one with a bouquet of flowers. It would be wonderful to jump into their arms and hug them and have tears join together in the joy of a happy reunion. Nope. That doesn't happen. I'm not being negative or anything but I can't help it. Life is dull sometimes. I hope I am not the only one. I'm tired of it. I want a grand gesture. I want something that changes my life. I want something fabulously magical to happen.

Okay that was slightly negative and almost came across suicidal? I love life, really. Sometimes I relish in the greyness of life. It sure makes you appreciate the color when it finally happens.

Last Sunday in primary, I was playing some hymns quietly before it began and Jennifer, 5, came and sat on the piano bench next to me like she does every week. She began to sing along softly, melting my heart. She looked at my hands and said to me, "I always wanted to play the piano.." She then proceeded to watch my hands and move hers up and down the piano as I did. In that moment I realized I wanted to be a teacher. Crap. I guess I will be having ten kids instead.

seven zero.

So I like to write. Surprised?

And I feel like I'm actually okay at it. It's just been my thing, ya know? I like doing it. I don't care if people like what I have to say, it is just something I like doing. It's therapeutic. Plus people tell me I'm good at it and that I should write a book and stuff. We'll see. But yeah. Everyone has their thing. There are the athletes and the musicians and the actors and actresses and the computer genius's and the artists and the chefs and the everything. I'm the writer. I like to write. I always liked to write. Then people started telling me that I was good at it. I started seeing good grades on my papers and essays. Then better grades. Then I started working really hard and getting perfect grades. People started asking me to edit stuff for them. Once I edited a magazine article. A real published magazine. People started asking my opinion on their own writing. People asked for more of what I had to say. Yeah, there have always been people who maybe don't like how I write. That's fine.. but usually I can just get past it. I even got 100% on my English 30-1 diploma essays.  Confidence booster, I tell ya. Perhaps I was overly-boosted?

Well. I've been humbled. 

I officially failed my first paper. 

I got it back without thinking much about it and the I noticed the big fat 

70% 

on the top. (anything lower than a 78% in my program is a fail). And to top it off... the paper was basically about brushing your teeth. Really? I can write a perfect paper on some weird topic like compromising your own happiness for the benefit of others and relating it to a twisted depressing novel.. but I can't whip something up about brushing teeth?

I'll take a C on a test. I'd be upset, yes, but I would be okay. I would move fast it. Laugh it off perhaps and strive to do better next time?

Not this.

My pride has been destroyed.

Annihilated.

I wanna go home.

I wanna go back to English-30 where I am appreciated.

Apparently I'm not cut out for this program.

source.

wishful thinking

{I wish} I was already home for Christmas

{I wish} I had an unopened envelope sitting in my mailbox

{I wish}  I was lying in my king-sized bed instead of sitting on a futon

{I wish} my upstairs neighbours didn't insist on getting drunk all the time so I didn't have to wake up to them throwing up every morning

{I wish} I was finishing my last semester of college.. not my first

{I wish} I had enough money to buy Christmas gifts for everyone I know

{I wish} online shopping wasn't so easy...

 {I wish} my car was here

{I wish} people could see their own potential so they would stop doing stupid things

{I wish} Amber was here to make my hair cute

{I wish} people didn't steal things out of cars

{I wish} I was at home for the alumni games in my cheer uniform

{I wish} the U key on my keyboard wasn't popped off. (really can anyone fix it for me?)

{I wish} the hot tub outside my apartment was working

but then.. life would be uninteresting

and I wouldn't have very much to look forward to in the future.

source.

crazier things have happened. okay no they haven't.

Cool crazy things never happen to me. 

I never have cool stories to tell or exciting adventures. 

Okay well I like my life and such but ya know? 

I feel like nothing super crazy cool has ever happened to me.. until LAST NIGHT.

As previously posted, last night I went to Lady Antebellum! Oh my word. To start off, the concert was amazing. They were incredible live. 

Anyway. The highlight of the night was possibly after the concert. We were walking to Bailey's car when we saw a group of people hanging by a fence out back and we were like.. cool what if they come out! So Bailey and I ran over there. The security guards were telling us that they already left and trying to get us to leave. There was a crowd of maybe 30-40 people but Bailey and I were at the front. Slowly people started leaving and such.. the crowd was now probably at about fifteen people. We were deciding if we should leave and such then BAM. Out walks the guitar player/singer for Lady Antebellum.. Dave Haywood! 

He dropped all his things and walked over to the fence where the crowd was and started giving autographs and shaking hands with everyone. 

Bailey grabbed his hand while I held my camera out to him to take a picture. He took the camera from my hand and then snapped a picture with us! He then shook our hands again and kept walking down the line. I was shaking! It was the craziest coolest thing ever. I've never met anyone famous before and now I have a picture with one!

post-thanksgiving thankfulness.

I have so much to be grateful for. It was thanksgiving last week and I didn't even take the chance to write a post on all that I have to be grateful for.

My family. I am so blessed. My family is perfect for me, and I'm pretty sure I am perfect for them. We are quirky. Maybe we do things different then a lot of families, but we love each other, and that is what is most important. I miss them terribly and I cannot wait to be back with them for Christmas.

The gospel. I don't know where I would be without the gospel in my life. All of the blessings I have can be directed back to my Father in Heaven. I am blessed with the knowledge and comfort that the gospel brings me and I am who I am because of the goodness the gospel brings into my life.

My roommates. Bailey Brooke is honestly the best roommate you could ever ask for. She makes me breakfast. She doesn't get mad when I leave things on the floor. She lets me shower first. She sprays pretty perfume that makes our room smell good. She stays up late and listens to me vent when I am frustrated and she jumps with excitement when I am happy. Becky is also a gem. She is the biggest sweetheart you will ever meet and her testimony inspires me. She is so strong and her dedication to school and the gospel makes me strive to be a better person. I am so so lucky to have such amazing girls to spend all my time with and I love them both dearly.

My best friends. I have a handful of best friends. Though we are thousands of miles away from each other, I know they are always there for me and I hope they know I am there for them too. I cannot wait until we are reunited in our red onesies and share more memories together. I miss you all.

Cody Clay. Cody's dedication to his mission makes me strive to be a better person each and every day. Every time I hear from him I am reminded of the sacrifices he is making to serve our Heavenly Father. I love seeing how much he has changed and I love being able to change as well. I love his positive attitude and his love for being a missionary.

The Canadians. There are more people that I spent my time with down here in Texas besides my roomies. Matt, Sarah, Becca, and Jordi. I am so grateful for this little family I have down here to spend my time with. I love doing everything together. I love watching movies together and eating together and having FHE together and causing problems together and laughing together and studying together. Everyone combined is one of my main sources of strength.

source.

Ohh there are so many more things I could list. I am grateful for friendship. Forgiveness. Heartache. Love. Prayers. Life. Happiness. I am so happy to be me.

cannnootgetenoughcountrymusic.

Soo all I can seem to listen to these days is country music?..

It's like.

Country music makes you miss something or someone. 

Not even anyone in particular.

But just a feeling of missing something.

Call me crazy.

OKAY. So. 

An announcement...

I will officially be attending a concert on November 3rd...

LADY ANTEBELLUM

I'm so freaking excited.

I can't even think of a concert I'd rather attend right now.

And for a moment
We made the world stand still

hello monday.

So I have failed at Music Monday two weeks in a row but here I ammmm! 

Country music has really been tuggin at my heartstrings lately. I suppose it always has done that.

 but I think it's something in the water here. 

It is just all I can listen to for the time being.

Sarah showed me this song and I have to say I am a fan. 

Oh, Tonight - Josh Abbott Band

I'm back.

I solemnly swear not to neglect the blog for such a long time.. hardly ever again. So much has happened.. oh my. I have been running for ten days straight. Really. It's been wonderful. Hectic, but wonderful.

My room is so cute.  I love it here.

Apparently I love to organize things?

I walk to school. J-Walk. There are no cross walks. It is crazy and I hope I don't die this year.

I have four cases of pop under my bed. There was a deal if you bought four okay? Don't judge me.

So.. I kinda feel like my life has actually started now. It's the weirdest thing. For the first time in my life, I feel like I don't have a million questions about my future. That feels wonderful.

Past has passed for a reason. I'm so glad.

Spring hasn't texted me a reminder for a few days but I don't even need her to anymore because I remember by myself. I'm growing up.

Everyone should read this. It's brilliant right?

I love it here.

It's a good thing I love country music. I officially am living in Texas. My radio stations basically consist of country music. Oh.. and I'm pretty sure I pick up the Spanish radio too.

I live about twenty minutes from Mexico. My mom thinks I'm going to get sold into the sex trade.

I miss my mom.

There is a freaking pool outside my apartment. And the water? It's warm, not cold.

I got all these really cool sharp dental instruments already. They're sharp. I also made a lovely friend. We were already friends.. but she was the first persons mouth I got to peek inside and vise versa. and I feel like we'll be friends forever because of that.

Bailey is going to save me a lot of money and I think she will make the show Extreme Couponing someday. It's really only a matter of time. She's even cutting them out right now.

My instructors are so great. They say ya'll and stuff.

I love my room mates already... even though Becky thought I stole the lightbulb from the fridge. =)

I went out for wings tonight for the first time ever. Weird.. I know. Wings creep me out. I got the boneless ones and they were just kinda like chicken tenders. For everyone out there who also gets creeped out by wings, the boneless ones are not-so-creepy.

I just ordered two pairs of scrubs, or fancy pajamas as Bailey says, for over a hundred dollars and I'm not even mad. Just excited.

Have I mentioned I love it here? I am definitely in the right place. =)

meet my new best friend.

I have been a little bit missing this week from the blog world, but you say I have been busy running errands. And when I am not running errands I have been at school. When I am not doing that I try to catch a little shut eye..

or

 maybe I have ben spending some quality time with my new best friend?

South Padre Island

She lives just about a half hour from me. It's great. I have a feeling we are going to just become better and better friends as more time passes..

K but for real. I have more than a million things to blog about and twice that many blogs to catch up on but it will just all have to wait for another day.

Happy blogging everyone and I hope the end of your summer was fabulous!

three.

Remember this? My letterless week due to Cody forgetting a stamp? Not a big deal. I got over it.

Until yesterday happened. My stampless letter showed up, accompanied by another letter. Then, another letter came today as a surprise. What a good couple days it has been. =)

source.

I apologize to my blogfriends who do not like to hear about Cody day in and day out.

I just love him okay?

And I blog about things I love.

That is all.

sidenote. I am moving to Texas on Monday. I am going to miss Carson.