I feel like you're always told that you go to college to find yourself, whatever that means.
Well, I'm going to be honest.
I've changed, yes, but deep down, I still feel like that same seventeen year old girl who has no idea what she wants in life and no idea where she wants to live or what she wants to do. College is ending [somewhat] soon and I still feel like I'm STILL at a crossroads.
That same crossroads I was at this time last year,
and the year before,
and the year before.
I don't want to choose paths.
I don't want to decide whats next.
I don't want to make any life changing decisions.
I want to learn more.
I want my heart to heal.
I want to travel more.
I want to meet people.
I want to spend too much money.
I want to fall in love all over again.
I want to be spontaneous.
I don't want to be an adult yet.
I'm not ready for bills or houses or responsibility.
I'm not ready to be a wife or a mother.
I'm not ready to find a real job.
I'm not ready to graduate.
I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations.
I'm not ready for decisions and life.
I just want to keep being me.
I want to stay right in this place that I am.
I know it's unrealistic and just apart of growing up.
Girls my age are all getting married and even having kids.
I'm so happy for them. But my mind is blown.
I'll get there someday.
but for now, there's no harm in admitting that maybe, I'm just scared.
Yep. That's it.