half over.

Being home has been quite a treat.  

Southern Alberta has treated me well.

Quite well.

I have to say the fact that I'm going back to Texas in twelve days makes me panic a little bit. 

I've already been here for twelve, and it's gone so fast.

 I feel like I'm not quite finished with my time here. 

Hopefully the next twelve days will go perfectly. 

The last twelve have certainly had ups and downs, but despite the downs..

  the ups and the realizations I've made and the chances I've decided to take

 have made everything so worth it..  =)

I keep learning a little bit more about myself every day.

 I like that.

I'm making a list now.

1. My bed is my favorite belonging. Is that bad?
2. I love the weather here. I love that it cools down at night.
3. I like wearing jeans better than wearing shorts.
4. Having a washer and drier is so convenient. Also having a fully equipped kitchen is so convenient.
5. Sometimes you just have to be spontaneous and try to win fifty bucks by running through the mud bog, because sometimes you win.
6. People don't change all that much. I'm still the same me I was when I was 12 and when I was 17. Sure, there are differences, but deep down, I have the same heart. It's just a little tougher and experienced.
7. I love my friends with all my heart.
8. I want to go back to school after I graduate from Dental Hygiene.
9. I want to be an English teacher... Surprise surprise.
10. Being straight up is the only way to be. Nothing to lose, right?
11. Random people you hardly know like to take it upon themselves to make your business their business. So not cool.
12. Life is all about adjustments.
13. Boys like to be the hero, and girls just want a hero. How convenient.
14. Summer is the best time of year.. and summer stories are always the best. =)
15. Time can pass.. from days to weeks to months to years, but some things in life just never, ever change, no matter how much you think you want them to. Some things just are the way they are.
16. Some people ya just can't trust. It's sad really.
17. Sometimes you just have to choose to find your own way for some places in life instead of following the map you created for yourself so long ago.
18. I don't care about what other people think nearly as much as I used to. It feels like heaven.
19. I'm me. I'm Jane. I tell myself not to put my heart on the line, but I always do. Can't help it.
20. Some risks will always be worth taking, no matter how many times you've taken them before.

~We Bought A Zoo

again and again and again.

Sometimes on days like today

my heart just has to hurt a little bit.

It will hurt for a day... maybe two, maybe more.

But one day it won't.

source

Fall down seven times, stand up eight, right?

new leaf.

I've written three different posts and just saved them into my drafts in the past few days. All I can come up with to share is that I'm still a little girl and I have no idea what I want in life. I can hardly pick out my clothes anymore. I used to be a great decision maker .. I think.. but now I am a decision avoider. Probably due to the fact that I keep making bad decisions. I'm a different person than I was a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, and even a day ago. Every day small events take place that are constantly shaping who I am and who I am becoming. Every day I change a little bit more and more. I think it's a good thing. For starters, I don't like people knowing things about my personal life. I used to broadcast so much it's embarrassing. I ask myself why I did that. Sometimes I forget people even read this thing.  Forgive me.. and I'm starting fresh. I'd start a new blog but thats lame and embarrassing. So, instead, I'm asking you to let me start over and don't judge me due to things I've said in the past.

Let me introduce myself.

I'm Jane. I'm turning twenty this month and that scares me. I am currently taking a fast track Dental Hygiene program in South Texas. Do I want to spend my life being a Dental Hygienist? No, not really. But maybe? I have no clue. Of course, I'll finish my program. I'm enjoying it thoroughly. I'll work, make some money, but I think after that, maybe I will move to Ecuador and save lives. Or maybe I will be a gypsy. Maybe I will take piano lessons again, or singing lessons. Maybe I will serve a mission. Maybe I will go back to University and become a teacher too. Maybe I will get married and have six kids. Maybe I won't though. Maybe I will become a journalist. Truth is, I have no idea where my life is headed. All I know is that I am Jane, and I give my whole heart to the things I love. I get sad when others are sad, and happy when others are happy. I enjoy honesty and all that it has to offer. Best policy for sure. Also, all I want is to be happy forever.

source.

sidenote. Remember this song? I love it. It's been a while.

yes this happens.

Sometimes I just stop and think of you.

And sometimes I wonder if in that moment, you are thinking of me too.

source.

maybe maybe.

I hope it's possible.

I think it's possible.

I even want it to be possible.

source.

I suppose only time will tell, right?