Don't say you haven't been warned.
Well its 2 am and my heart hurts because I am missing Cody tonight. I have been doing that a lot lately. I think maybe it's because he is actually coming home soon(ish) and I am starting to get excited/nervous.
Did you know he will be home in 204 days?
Okay so I guess I don't know for sure when he will be home yet.. but 204 more or less.
To most, I'm sure, that seems ridiculous..
but when you compare it to 731, it's really not very many days.
In fact, that number seems quite small. =)
Maybe that is what has been picking at my mind.
A return date would be nice. I like knowing things.
Anyway. What I'm here for..
So a little over two years ago, I was really sad. Looking back, I realize it was silly to be so sad but, my eighteen year old heart was quite broken it seemed.
Cody and I weren't dating at the time, but he was still very important to me and always remained a good friend through the ups and downs, even when I didn't deserve it.
We were in Waterton, and he knew I was sad so he was just keeping me company because he's a good friend like that. We decided to go for a walk. I was kind of cold so I took the big down-filled comforter off of my bed and wrapped myself up inside. We walked to the docks overlooking the lake and then decided to just lay down and talk.
He didn't have to ask why I was sad because he already knew, and even though it hurt him that I was sad, he just let me be sad and he let me talk about it. He offered advice, but he also just listened. I remember him scratching my back and then I remember him holding my hand. Not in a romantic sort of way, but in a "I'm your friend and I'm not leaving you because I know you need someone" sort of way. Sometimes thats all you need.
I shared my blanket with him and we just stayed there side by side.
I think I cried for a while. It's definitely possible.
Cody listened to every single reason why I was sad, even though it broke his heart to hear. We just stayed there on the docks, looking at the stars, and talking for hours and hours.
That was the night I knew that Cody was for real.
He wasn't going anywhere.
He showed me what unconditional love was.
Even though I didn't deserve a friend like him
even though I had hurt him
even though he loved me and I wasn't quiiite ready to love him back
even though I was silly and lost
even though I was immature and confused and blind
he was there for me.
Every single day.
He always said someday I would see
Well, he was right..
and sure didn't take long.
And that is why, nearly eighteen months of being apart, I haven't been able to come close to replacing him.
I don't know what's going to happen when he gets home, but I am sure excited to find out.
And I think that no matter what happens,
he will always be that friend that is always there.
He's a keeper I think.