12.06.2011

seven zero.

So I like to write. Surprised?
And I feel like I'm actually okay at it. It's just been my thing, ya know? I like doing it. I don't care if people like what I have to say, it is just something I like doing. It's therapeutic. Plus people tell me I'm good at it and that I should write a book and stuff. We'll see. But yeah. Everyone has their thing. There are the athletes and the musicians and the actors and actresses and the computer genius's and the artists and the chefs and the everything. I'm the writer. I like to write. I always liked to write. Then people started telling me that I was good at it. I started seeing good grades on my papers and essays. Then better grades. Then I started working really hard and getting perfect grades. People started asking me to edit stuff for them. Once I edited a magazine article. A real published magazine. People started asking my opinion on their own writing. People asked for more of what I had to say. Yeah, there have always been people who maybe don't like how I write. That's fine.. but usually I can just get past it. I even got 100% on my English 30-1 diploma essays.  Confidence booster, I tell ya. Perhaps I was overly-boosted?
Well. I've been humbled. 
I officially failed my first paper. 
I got it back without thinking much about it and the I noticed the big fat 
70% 
on the top. (anything lower than a 78% in my program is a fail). And to top it off... the paper was basically about brushing your teeth. Really? I can write a perfect paper on some weird topic like compromising your own happiness for the benefit of others and relating it to a twisted depressing novel.. but I can't whip something up about brushing teeth?
I'll take a C on a test. I'd be upset, yes, but I would be okay. I would move fast it. Laugh it off perhaps and strive to do better next time?
Not this.
My pride has been destroyed.
Annihilated.

I wanna go home.
I wanna go back to English-30 where I am appreciated.
Apparently I'm not cut out for this program.


4 comments:

  1. Don't worry Janeen. I aced english all through high school and then just the other day I got a scolding by a professor about sentence structure... I have been struggling with my confidence in writing all through university but in the end it doesn't matter. If you like to write, then write!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Stupid professor. Who does he think he is?!?

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh Jane don't be too disappointed! I know how you feel this big bad world is certainly humbling me too! You'll get past it and soon they will find out how lucky they are to have you teaching them to brush their teeth!

    ReplyDelete

search the blog