overdue.

Welp. I knew this was coming for a while now.

My blog is a place where I blog my little heart out.

Literally.

And today this is whats in my heart.

I miss Cody.

Say whaaa?

I dont know what it is this week, but its been a long time since I've missed him like this.

Perhaps due to the fact that I got a little lost in life. Perhaps because he is so focused, which is just so awesome. Perhaps because we communicate less and less. Perhaps because thats just what happens when two people go this long without seeing each other.

Whatever it is, it's all catching up to me.

My heart hurts today. 

I found myself snuggled in bed reading a letter I received from him just a few weeks after he had been away.

Confession. I teared up. haha

I don't tell him I miss him anymore, and he doesn't tell me either. We both figured it was better that way, and I think it is. I can tell him after he gets home. It makes it much easier.

Except this week. He told me he missed me this week. Thats probably whats making me this way.

Hearing that just makes everything seem so real.

Bittersweet.

Jus a few little stories that I have been reminded of this week.

Story number one. April fooools. Two years ago, Cody and I had been dating for about two and a half months by April Fools. We were "facebook official", you know, such a big deal. Hahah.

I vividly remember sitting in English class and receiving a text from a friend asking when Cody and I broke up. I was so confused. I got onto facebook.. naturally.. only to discover that he dumped me! On facebook. Little turd. 

Good thing it was just a joke. He thought he was so funny. 

I smiled about that all April Fools this year. =)

Story number two.

Once upon a time I was living and working in Waterton and Cody was at home in Magrath for the weekend. It was Sunday night and I was super bored and just curled up in front of the TV to watch a movie. We were texting and I was sad that we couldn't hang out that night because I had worked late and you know, it just didn't work out. All night I had been joking about him making a teleporting device so he could magically be in Waterton so I could see him. About ten minutes into my movie, Cody calls me and says, "Guess what! I finished my teleporting device. Look out your window!" noowww Cody thinks hes a little trickster so I didn't get too excited. Well, I tried not to. I laughed at him and told him not to trick me because it was mean to get me excited for nothing. All he said was.. "No really. Look outside." I ran out the door to the balcony of the apartment to find Cody standing with the phone up to his ear with a big smile on his face. Best surprise ever. 

That, ladies and gentlemen, is my best friend. I miss him today, and I am so excited for him to come home, even though its not for 10 more months. 

Okay. Now that I've shared a little piece of my soul, I will stop again because I don't like doing this very often. 

+

Where does your mail go?

Have you ever thought about the journey a letter takes from one part of the world to another? Yeah probably not. But I think about it every week when I open my mailbox in Babb and find another letter waiting for me. Whenever I see Postal Vehicles driving I kinda get excited a little bit when I think about how truly amazing the postal system is! It's crazy okay. You just write a couple random numbers and letters on the front, slap a stamp in the corner and drop it in a box and expect that it will somehow find its way into the hands of who its supposed to.. and it does. Usually.

I have a story that seriously just made my life.

I have a post office box across the border because lots of things ordered in the states won't get shipped to Canada, and it's also cheaper to mail domestic instead of internationally(obviously). When you have a family member that uses the united postal system as often as my family does.. it's worth it. So. Today, my parents were going to get the mail across the border. So sweet of them, really. Anyway, all was well, I even had a parcel waiting. They brought it home for me and my day was made, the usual. Anyway, here we are.. five hours later.. and the best thing in the world just happened.
Someone knocked at the door. My mom yelled at my to answer it (of course =) ) so I ran upstairs and a familiar lady was standing there with her hands behind her back. She asked to talk to my mom and my mom was just at the top of the stairs. The lady started walking up the stairs. I thought it was kinda odd because people don't usually just head up the stairs that fast.. ya know? I figured something serious must be up. Call me a sneak, but I stayed at the bottom of the second set of stairs trying to figure out what was going on, but I could not hear a thing. This lady was whispering. Anyway, the lady walked out the door and I ran upstairs because I figured my mom would tell me whats up. She handed me a letter from Cody. This lady had found my letter in the garbage at the post office in Montana! Apparently, she first thought maybe my parents were throwing away my letters... but then she decided maybe they weren't so she better double check. It had actually been stuck inside a flier and was thrown away on accident. She rescued my letter and brought it back into Canada and drove it over to my house. When my mom told me I was so excited I ran outside and gave this lady a huge hug.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love living where I do? Where else in the world would someone find your letter in the garbage across the border, think maybe you were supposed to get it, and bring it to you? Nowhere. Nowhere else. 

I am happy as a clam. It is officially my favorite day ever.

source.

sidenote. This letter is officially my favorite and I kind of think deserves some sort of award for being so determined to find me... Perhaps a frame instead of the letter binder?

sometimes my head gets lost.

Sometimes I'm really dumb..

I have no idea where my head was today.

You see, today, I did this dumb thing.

At work, we have this van we drive around. At the end of the day, one of the girls I work with asked me if I would return the keys to the kiosk. I thought to myself, "I'm going to forget to put them away."

I took the keys from her and dropped them in my pocket and went into the kiosk.

I got home a while later and reached my hand in my pocket and there were the van keys. I panicked a little bit, sent my boss a text to tell him that I had them and then tried to figure out how to get them there the next morning by 7:30am. I don't work until 11am. (sidenote. I work in Waterton. It's 35 min away.) I then got a phone call from a girl at work. 

"Hey.. do you know where the keys are?"

I answered with a yes.. and let her know I had them. I apologized. She figured she could do without them the rest of her shift. Meanwhile, I was failing at finding a way for the keys to get back to Waterton. I decided I would just drive them back.

I pull up to the kiosk and hand Laurie the keys. She smiles and as she is taking the keys from my hand, she says, "the van keys.. wait.. do you know where the EP3 keys are?"

sidenote: EP3 keys are important. Storage room keys and what not.

I then realize that the phone call earlier was in fact not about the van keys but about the EP3 keys. I then think about where the EP3 could be. Who was the last one to open a storage room...

No idea.

Then I have a memory of Jenn tossing me the keys in the last few minutes of work. I realize I maybe had the keys.

Great.

So, I tell her it's possible I have them.

She laughs. Not a big deal... 

but kind of.

I come home and reach into the pocket of my work pants and there are the EP3 keys.

source.

Sometimes I wonder about my brain.. 

The end.

life is freaking awesome.

HONESTLY. I can't even express it. I don't even know where to start. Life is perfect. 

I love my family so much. I have the best parents in the world. 

I am going to share a funny story about my daddy.

For those of you who know my dad well, you might understand how great this was because you can probably picture the whole scenario.

So the power went out yesterday at 10:30pm while I was at work. I got home around 11:00 to a completely dark house.. except for a bright light in my kitchen. Low and behold, my father was wearing one of these contraptions on his head.

Please just picture it. He was happy as a clam, reading a book, with a headlight across his shiny bald forehead.

I love him so very much. I laughed for a very long time. He then said decided to let me use it so I could get ready for bed. What a kind soul. 

My mom is the best. She lets me cuddle with her even though I am 19. She knows me inside and out. She is the best ever. She is happy when I am happy.

There is a lot of happiness in my house right now. 

My parents love me so much. :)

I love my friends. 

Today, I went to the temple for the first time in way way way way too long. I went with the institute, which was fabulous, because I got to be there with my closest friends.

Plus, one of my closest friends Ryan did the confirmations, and another friend Taylor did the baptizing. 

It is so great to see these boys I have grown up with being able to perform temple ordinances. I love life. I love my friends. I love the gospel. I love the temple.

Cody is the best. He is doing well incase anyone is wondering. He loves Puerto Rico. I actually have a friend who knows his companion. She even kissed him before. What are the chances right!

To top it off, I get to go to a fireside tomorrow night to hear Elder Richard G. Scott speak to the YSA. Ummmm.. YAY! 

I just loved his talk at General Conference. I cannot WAIT until tomorrow night.

Guest-ish post?

Okay. Because of the fact that tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I am quite certain nothing fabulous will happen, I am going to post what I posted last year about Valentine's day. I had a blog last year that was not available for all public to see. I still have all my old posts, and I just went to read what I wrote. It brought a smile to my face...

Tuesday February 16, 2010

V-Day

Valentines Day. These two words have often brought so much dread to the deepest part of my stomach. Let's just say my entire life, this has been a much awaited holiday with a complete let down each year. (Actually that is a big of an exaggeration. Last year wasn't entirely terrible, but it was spent with a boy that, well, we just never clicked.) I have learned to be fine with this sort of Valentine's Day. Really I've become accustomed to kinda forgetting it exists. I have kind of come to the point where I see February 14th on a calendar and perhaps just cover it in white-out. It has always been bad luck. This year, I planned on driving the entire day home from a lovely little trip with some friends, and then perhaps clean my room and go to sleep. Needless to say,  everything lately in the life of Jane has been going significantly differently. Life, which is usually plain has turned into.. special. My life, which had become so unfortunately predictable.., is.. well.. unpredictable. Everything fell into place on Valentine's Day!!.. Things that shouldn't have fallen into place.. and set me up for such a perfect night! First off, I received the most darling perfect gift ever... big smile! Anyone who has read my recent posts will know that I has fallen in love with the color yellow! .. and perhaps the boy who has introduced me to it? Much to my surprise.. for even having a valentine in the first place,.. and receiving a gift on Valentines day.. it was the perfect gift accompanied by the perfect night! (haha :) ) I received the most beautiful yellow rose ever. Yellow. It was perfect! And of course nothing beats a box of Lindor chocolates.. mmmmm... how completely satisfying. What a perfect boy that has come into my life an brought such a smile to my face. He is much too good to me... I hope someday  I can actually be that good to him. I am trying though.  The timing was incredible and terrible. ANYWAY...  I hope everyone gets to have a perfect Valentine's Day some day! I know my friends call Valentine's Day.. "Single Awareness Day". I've often agreed. No.. it really isn't. I suppose it could be, but its a choice. Valentine's Day is just..... yes, a very commercialized holiday.. but invented to remind everyone to .. remember to be happy... because its just that important!

 Well. I like to think my writing has improved since then.. but that is besides the point. I think I had a good point. Even if now I want to kick myself for saying everyone needs to just remember to be happy on Valentine's Day.. I guess it was sort of good to hear. Plus I am still lucky enough to be apart of that particular boy's life.. and that alone is enough to keep a smile on my face. I hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day, with or without a Valentine. 

06

My Day Day?

 Okay. What the heck does that even mean? I truly am stumped.. So I will just write a post about a few of my thoughts. 

Today I taught some three and four year olds how to point their toes and jump at the same time. I have a new appreciation for people who are naturally born coordinated... but also those who aren't.. because it is just so dang cute.

I got a letter in the mail a while back from an Elder Wadsworth serving in West Virginia. I have never met him.. but it was nice of him to write. Word is he got transferred, so I'm not sure how he expects me to write back...

I reeeeeeally don't like when people lie to me.. and okay. Sometimes things that are said aren't actual "lies".. but still deceitful. That makes me just as sad.

Who doesn't miss the way things used to be on the odd occasion? I do. If you don't, please tell me your secret. Thanks.

I went visiting teaching for my first time today. It went exactly how you'd expect visiting teaching to go.

Spring is living across the ocean from me but she still knows every daily occurrence in my life and hears about my astonishing discoveries from facebook. Even though I can't text her.. everything else is the same. Minus going to Firestone and Starbucks. =(

Have you seen Country Strong? No? Okay stop what you are doing and go see it. It's seriously so good. Hands down, best movie I've seen in a long time. It was the kind of movie that would be entertaining to watch me watch. Seriously. I wouldn't wipe the smile off my face the whole thing. It just put me in theeee best mood, ever!

Speaking of Country Strong... there is some great country  music from it. Even if you aren't a fan of country music.. you should take a look. My sister hated country music her whole life but.. she even bought the album. I highly recommend Give Into Me by Garrett Hedlund and Leighton Meester. I'm just obsessed with the whole album now. I will probably be talking more about this movie in the near future.

Today was that day of cleaning the drain in my shower. I seriously wonder if I lose more hair in the shower than others. I'm kind of concerned.

Sydnee slept in my bed last weekend. She brought ketchup chips and I like her for that.

Okay so last time I recommended a movie to someone.. the movie was All About Steve. Some of my best friends and I went, and we were just in the perfect mood to see it. Everyone who we recommended it to.. along with most of the world.. seems to think it was awful. Hahaha so maybe Country Strong won't be the best ever but... very quite possibly okay! I'm serious about this one.. and even other people seem to agree.

A lady gave the best talk in church on Sunday. It was about the importance of not being judgemental. Seriously.. It really got to me. It brought me to tears and I hope I can do better in that area. I also hope in return, less people will judge me.

Speaking of judgements. For anyone out there who has seen me or heard of me do anything you didn't like? I'd really appreciate it if you would stop judging me for that. We all have our flaws, yeah? We all make mistakes. I am who I am, and I've been who I have been. The point is, I am trying hard to be a better person and a more mature person, and I really would appreciate it if everyone would stop giving me such a hard time for things I've done in the past or ways I've acted. Word spreads so quickly these days you know. It is tough to hear people mocking things I have done such a long time ago. Things people don't truly know much about. =(

I miss Waterton.. and last summer.. and the summer before.. and the summer before.. and all the people associated with all of that.

I don't like swimming. I don't get the point. You just jump in the water.. then what? I prefer laying next to the ocean for 8 consecutive hours and not moving except from my back to my front.

I just wrote a whole bunch of things on this blog post earlier today and they didn't all save and I'm really mad because some were good but I forget what they were.

I bought a pair of $90.00 jeans and a pair of $6.00 tights in the same week. Guess which ones I have worn more? Yep. The tights. I think I might save some money and cut back on my jeans purchases.

A lot of people have been blog bashing Simply Jane. That's fine; everyone is entitled to their own opinions... but seriously. This is my blog.. so don't read it if you don't like what I have to say. Problem solved?

Sometimes things that happened forever ago have a way of resurfacing. It's surprising how much things I thought once were buried with the weeks and months and years haven't changed a bit. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I miss being in school a little bit. I hope next fall comes quick.

Did I mention how sad it makes me when people lie? And then they get caught in it but they straight up just deny it?... I don't lie to you.. why do you lie to me?

It has been decided that I will be travelling to England in 2012 for the Olympics with Spring. This isn't just a hope and dream either.. I am fairly certain of this one.

It was a hard day today. I hope tomorrow is better.

source undisclosed.

just a little story.

I'm going to over-dramatically tell a little story about a certain simple, but maybe more major event that occurred in my Grade 12 year. Perhaps this sort of thing has happened to others and they simply don't care, but for me, this was epic, and I've been meaning to document it. Sorry if it gets a little bit up close and personal. =)

So a very large portion of my year last year was dedicated to a certain.... "thing" in my life.  Many might believe that it was a waste of my time, or that I should have been more concerned about other things. Maybe they were right, maybe they weren't. All I know is that in September of 2009 my heart was set on only this. I knew I was going to have to work hard. I knew there was the possibility that this wouldn't work out.  I knew I could be facing heartache, humiliation, and disappointment, but that was just a risk I was willing to take.

 Now, hold on a minute. Don't assume to quickly that you know what this "thing" is. Your first instinct is probably wrong.

Things started out rough. I was in unfamiliar territory, and I was let down immediately in September.  I just wasn't doing things right. Instead of letting the disappointment get to me, I just thought long and hard about what I could do to fix my mistakes, and prepare to face further hardships in the future, and of course, to defeat them.

Over the course of the next few months, I focused more and more on this "thing". I lost sleep. I stayed up late into the night battling and stressing. Some mornings, I didn't even get out of bed. I hate to admit it, but I nearly gave up entirely. It was just, too hard.

ask for source.

Slowly, I started figuring out a way to make things work. I started asking for help. Success began to unfold right before my eyes. I suddenly realized I had to achieve this, and I knew I could. I wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted in my whole eighteen and a half years of life.

And I've wanted a lot of things.

During the summer of 2010, the thought of achieving this goal never strayed from my mind. Seasons and schedules changed, but the anticipation of finding out whether or not I had in fact made it to my destination literally drove me crazy. Day after day I waited and wondered. One ordinary summer day, the news came in a simple little facebook message. This "thing" I had my heart set on, this "thing" that had taken over my thoughts both day and night for the previous ten plus months, this "thing" was finished. In just one sentence, I knew the results.  "It will be my pleasure to post your picture on the wall." 

photo:

 via Mr. Heninger's Wall of Amazing-All-stars

 via a cell phone

Day 10-Something you're afraid of

Oh this should be interesting. I am going to write a couple stories about my worst fear.

ask for source.

Story #1.

I was in Chem 20 (although Chemistry is certainly a fear of mine, this isn't the fear I am referring to) in Mr. Wolsey's classroom, except our teacher was Mrs. Meeks. I sat in the front right corner of the classroom, one desk in front of Ryan. Class was just passing by like it usually did, me hating on chemistry and wishing I could be in a different class. Mrs. Meeks was at the front of the class writing notes on the whiteboard. It was a relatively dull class from my perspective. I hate chemistry. Suddenly, Mrs. Meeks lets out a little gasp and puts her hand on her chest. She is looking in the front, right corner of the classroom towards the book shelves. "There's a mouse," she simply stated.

I'm not sure how the next three milliseconds went, but I know by the fourth millisecond I was standing right on top of Ryan's binder. To this day, I don't remember how I got there. I'm convinced I flew, or some saving angel picked me up and carried me there. The entire class froze and slowly all eyes were on me. I hadn't breathed yet, my eyes were watering, and I had the shakes. I'm grateful that no one laughed, because if you ask me this is not a laughing matter.

"Do you need to take a walk.." asked Mrs. Meeks. I jumped off of the desk and walked into the hallway until I got control of my breath.

And no. I didn't even see the mouse, but I could sense it lurking on the other side of the bookshelf only feet away from me with its beady little eyes, and that was enough.

 Story #2

Our house has never had a problem with mice. In my whole life, we have ever only had a mouse twice, maybe three times. One in six years? I like those odds. Anyway, the most recent time we had a mouse residing with us was about two years ago. It was up in our kitchen, so my dad set a trap in the corner. I demanded he set one in my bedroom just to be sure, so he did that as well. What a good dad. Anyway, that night, I had trouble sleeping. I dozed in and out and all I could think about was the sound of the mouse trap going off behind my nightstand. Okay, let me rewind. Just because we don't have mice inside of our house often, doesn't mean they don't enjoy nesting just outside of our house. My bedroom has an two outside walls. The one on the north side of my bedroom is by our back yard. The walls of my bedroom have been a home to birds, bees, and mice. My dad doesn't believe me, but I know they are there because I can hear them scratching the wall. The same wall that is inches from my head. So creepy. Sometimes I even hit the wall to try and scare them away. I'm pathetic, I know. Anyway, this particular night I could hear something on the outside of my house near the floor. Of course, I lose all logic when there is a mouse living among my family. It was two, maybe three in the morning and I was near tears because I had convinced myself that there was a mouse inside my bedroom, rather then outside. Suddenly, I hear the trap go off. I was hyperventilating. I didn't want to move because I didn't want to accidentally run my hand over such a demon little creature. What if the mouse just touched the trap and the rodent was still running around my room? I thought about getting up to go sleep in a different room, perhaps in a different house, but the thought of accidentally stepping on the mouse was too much for me to handle. I couldn't turn on the light because if I actually saw the mouse I'm pretty sure my heart would have stopped entirely. My mind raced. I grabbed my cell phone and started calling my house. Of course, if anyone has tried to call my house, you know that no one EVER answers the phone, especially during the night. I called my dad's cell phone and finally he answered. I'm pretty sure he thought I was getting raped or something because of the pure terror in my voice. He came downstairs and checked the trap in my room. It hadn't even gone off. WHAT THE HECK. I heard it loud and clear. He went upstairs and checked the mouse trap in the kitchen. Sure enough, our creepy little fiend was smooshed like he should be. I asked my dad how loud a mouse trap was when it went off, and he said it was certainly not loud enough for me to hear from downstairs in my bedroom at the opposite end of the house. I guess I have super-sensitive-mouse detecting ears. I still shudder when I think of that night.

So there you have it. Something I am afraid of: MICE. I know its ridiculous and they are harmless and all that crap, and to be honest, I think they are kind of cute. But when there is a mouse near by, I lose all of my logic.

photo found via Google Images

HA. I hope they all die.

straight up nothingness.

I've been thinking tonight. I have this problem. I have always had it, and it seems to just get worse as time passes. It is probably stemmed from a combination of stubbornness and pride. Unfortunate traits to have, yes, but they exist in me nonetheless. I won't even try to deny that because if anyone knows me even the slightest, they are aware of both of these things. Anyway, this problem I have. I sort of tend to say things I don't mean. Not necessarily lying, but more I don't say what I actually feel, or what I want to. Probably in fear of being hurt, or almost... out of a test to see the reaction of others? If that makes sense. Okay, this is sounding dreadful. Let me try to give an example.

I remember when I was really little I was at a friend's house. On their tabletop sat a fresh skor cake. I'm certain this cake was still warm. It looked brilliant, and I was offered a piece. For some crazy reason, I turned it down, even though I was dying to eat the entire thing. I think this was an attempt at being polite, but immediately after I turned it down I thought to myself, "I shouldn't have just done that..?" Its stupid really. I guess that wasn't really a prime example either.. oh well. Anyway, this thing I do, I'm afraid has only increased as I have grown older. What happened to growing older and wiser? This thing I do has caused me nothing but grief. I have denied myself so many things because I do this. Everything from skor cake to friendships to free meals to hanging out to dates. I say things inbetween the lines and its silly. If I was more.. straight up.. with my feelings and my thoughts, I think I would have saved myself a lot of problems. I have realized this a few times in my life, but it has become this crazy cycle where I have become tangled in this web of saying things between the lines and analyzing words and telling people I want to go home when I don't and asking people to leave me alone when really I just want a hug? I am tired of this game, and after writing this, I believe it is almost dishonest to a degree? I think I'll try to be clear from now on.

Sorry you had to suffer through this rant of nothingness. To be honest, I don't even know what I am trying to say. I guess its just one of those days?

I didn't really mean that.