everywhere girls.

*This post is not meant to offend or stereotype females or anyone, along with any of my blogposts. It is just something I feel inspired to write about today, so read if you choose, just don't judge me for saying what I want to say and having the opinions and frustrations that I have.

Ok. Maybe you don't know the type, or maybe you do. I'll just explain.

Have you ever met one of those girls who is at every party, knows everyone's business, and pretends she's friends with everyone? The girl who doesn't actually ever come out and say something rude about you, but the way she says, "oh.. you changed your hair. do you like it.... .. ya me too!" makes you want to die. Her subtle, conniving ways are so.. evil.. that you'd prefer she just trash talk you instead of being nice in such a fake way? I have met a handful. They pretend to be your friend, but before you know it, they are hanging out with all your friends, and you are sitting at home, writing a blogpost about everywhere girls. (Completely coincidental. I promise.) I call these girls everywhere girls, because you literally hear about them from everyone, and see them everywhere.

Chances are, you are facebook friends with her, and she's written on your wall once or twice a year since you've got facebook, and she has liked approximately 2/3rds of your statuses.

She is easy to spot, especially on facebook. She likes your statuses, along with everyone else's. She probably has a million and a half pictures of herself, and another half a million facebook albums letting you know just how many parties she's been to, and exactly what she does every weekend. She is the girl who makes her life look so fabulous, because she wants everyone to think her life is fabulous. She wants the boys to think she is the greatest girl walking the planet, and she wants the make the girls mad, and I guess she succeeds. Good for her? She literally knows everyone. Chances are she is texting, or sexting, five plus boys at one time, and those five boys are probably the best of friends. I mean, props to her for having SUCH the best social life.. but seriously.. cut it out.

These girls get under my skin. They literally make my blood boil.  For example.. again with facebook. Yes, we all wish people happy birthday that we don't normally talk to, ever. Not a big deal? Perhaps a nice gesture. Now maybe it's just me, but there are some serious lines that these "everywhere" girls just insist on crossing.

Acceptable Birthday Wall-posts for the Typical Female to Male without being in a relationship:
sidenote: The name John is used without association to anyone. Just for the record.

"Hey! Happy birthday!"
"Hope you have a great birthday!"
"Happy birthday John! "

Notice the way it is acceptable to even use an exclamation point to create enthusiasm. That's fine. Use their name too. A slight simple personal touch never hurt anyone.

Unacceptable Birthday Wall-posts for the Typical Female to Male:

"hey johnny boy ;) its been waaaay too long since we've hung out. Want to catch up?  I just love you! xoxoxoxo <3"
"JOHNN!!!!! ;) ;) i hope you get.. everything.. you asked for this year!"
"miss you baby! :) remember last time we hung out? ;) we'll have to do that again soon, won't we ;) happy birthday again.. i'll be seeing you soon..?"
"johnny baby! what you just too busy to fit me into your life these days! i'm sooo insulted. like. call me like. RIGHT NOW!! ;) happy birthday.. love ya forever :)"

Notice how these messages are filled with smiley faces, winks, discreet sexual innuendos, and even pet names. They nearly always bring up a past event, or a time they perhaps spent together. Well, just so everyone knows, "last time" the two of you hung out, was probably because she was dating your best friend and you ended up sitting next to each other in the backseat of a car with six other people. AHH.. SO FUN! Also, notice how she says she loves you. What the heck does that mean anyway? Have you ever had a conversation, EVER, beyond, "Hey! Let's hang out!". And like. Seriously like. She could have called you like. Forever ago. And like. Not announced it to the world. Like. Because she probably only remembered you exist like. Because facebook birthday events reminded her. Like. Really. 

Of course, these wall posts aren't applicable to real life couples.  If you are dating, whatever, go ahead. No one really cares anyway so write away! It's when girls write things like this on the wall of a boy when their only real time together has been spent through a friend of a friend and that facebook chat once a year or the random text when you are both seriously bored. Call me crazy, but that isn't a relationship that is asking for the L word!! Why are you telling boys that you love them and winking at them and smiling at them so much? Seriously. Until facebook, I didn't realize how much colon's and parenthesis could flirt. I personally think that facebook PDA's are hideous, especially when its just a random sort of PDA. Seriously people. Stop it.

The thing is with these unacceptable wall posts, is that sometimes guys don't get just how fake they are. No, she doesn't actually want to hang out. This is just a way for her to let the world see just how close she is with just, so many guys.
To you, Everywhere girl, who is squirming in your seat because you know that you are guilty of this. Stop it. You don't have to be best friends with everyone. It's impossible, so stop pretending you are. You are fabulous by yourself, so please, please stop messing with these boys heads. There are girls who genuinely love these boys. Stay close to those you genuinely love, and quit tossing around the L word left and right because its making it less meaningful for everyone else.

To you, Completely Oblivious Boys. Watch out for these girls, they lurk at every party, every sporting event, and every everything. They flirt, and they make you think that the two of you are tight. Ask yourself this, when is the last time just the two of you hung out? Ever? Now, how many times has she suggested you hang out without following through with plans? Check your friends phones. I bet there will be a text from her that is nearly identical to the one she sent you just last night.

To you, Girls Who Love A Boy Under The Spell of an Everywhere Girl. Hang in there. It is only a matter of time that your dear sweet friend will see. This girl's evil colors will become discovered, and life will pan out for her in it's own way. Karma has a way of taking care of that. Your boy will see who truly cares about him.


  1. if i could like this, i would. i can't agree with you more.

  2. if i could like becky's comment, i also would. I know so many "everywhere girls" and i wish they could all read this! good job.

  3. i was so hesitant to post this!
    i'm so glad to know i'm not alone on this one. ahha.

  4. Well I'd just like to give this a big huge thank you Jane. This is just absolutely brilliant. I love you. HAHAHAHA.

  5. I love this Janeen! Thank you so much for sharing it.

  6. Janeen..thank-you for posting this. This has always been one of my major pet peeves. You described it perfectly.

  7. Took every word right out of my mouth, it just wouldn't have sounded as put together as all of this. I love this post! :) thanks janeen

  8. This is brilliant Janeen! Thanks for posting it.

  9. jane your blog brings me so much joy.

  10. This might be the best post I have ever come across! So So true!

  11. i hope you all know just how happy your comments have made me.

  12. Hey just stumbled across your blog. Love it. And love this post, soooo true!

  13. Oh gosh, I hate these people. I feel like they fall under the category of the people who have over 1,000 FB friends. And that's my biggest FB pet peeve, because we all know you don't really have 1,000 real life friends. Haha. ;) Prepare to be blog stalked!


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