I pick the worst lines. I'm not even kidding. 
I picked the line behind the man who tried to check into his flight with an ID that didn't match his passport.
I picked the line with the family that had four kids and a very defiant ten year old girl who pouted and wouldn't move her feet or her luggage out of the way.
I picked the line with the people who couldn't figure out the self check-in kiosk.
I picked the line with the security guard who decided to visit with every single person and comment on their passport pictures. And make the word "tram" that he had to write on everyone's boarding passes in freaking calligraphy.
I picked the line that joined with the first class line making mine go twice as slow.. and of course my line the inferior. 
I picked the line with the security computer that broke down for ten minutes.
I finally decided to leave that line.. and right after I did.. it got fixed. Of course right?
Oh. I also picked the line with the man who decided to conduct a random search on me and run a random security test on my laptop. Sheesh. Could he not see my nineteen year old hairs turning grey as we spoke? Sure, Sir. I'll just sit here as you conduct these random searches as my plane departs. No problemo.

On top of that, I got jerk line guard who rolled his eyes when he found out I was going to be late for my flight.

Luckily, some people are humane. Kind even. Sir Mr. American Airline Pilot let me cut ahead of him.
BFG Grandpa told me to sneak underneath the ropes to cut in front of 4 weaves back and forth of security line. Of course.. this ended up being the broken computer line.. so everyone caught up with me anyway.
Happy business lady told me the best place to stand in the tram to my terminal so I could get off quickest. She also told me to take a sharp left, followed by another left.. and to SPRINT.
Did you know you have until exactly four minutes before departure to make it onto your plane?
I made it with six minutes. Two minutes to spare. No big deal.

I was not at all surprised when my luggage did not appear at the baggage claim. No big deal. It just had the keys to my house in it.
And of course... I happened to get in line behind a very very angry couple whom also had lost luggage. Get this though.. they hadn't searched everywhere in the baggage claim area yet.. The oversized luggage.. the secret corners with stashes of bags. No big deal. Angry man just held his place in the front of the line while his angry wife walked around for five minutes searching for their bags. I just patiently waited behind him while he stood there looking like an idiot taking up the first place in line.
Of course, the computer system went down right while I made by delayed baggage claim. They couldn't even file my report and give me a reference number.
Of course, Continental ran out of their own forms, so I had to use one from United that the lady didn't know how to use.
This is all true.
Airports hated me today.



  1. oh man, after just booking flights, this has made me just a little anxious, even thought I have flown alot, I HATE airports!!

  2. awwe that sucks. sounds like a really stressful day! airports suck. i'm glad you made it on time though.


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