9.13.2010

just a few thoughts.

Well, this isn't going to be a different sort of post. Perhaps more informative because I don't know how to beat around the bush with this one? I will do my best, because that is my favorite thing to do. It has been an interesting and challenging few days for me. There are numerous reasons why, beginning with the ridiculous amount of reading I have to do by tomorrow morning... but I am incapable of reading my text books because they are much to heavy for me.. because I have beyond zero energy.. because  have not been able to eat or drink anything in 4 days now? Minor detail, really. Okay so I guess I could probably do my reading, but this headache I have is really making it hard for me to even blink. Also.. I'm getting rather thirsty?

Ok. To put it out straight, I'm sick. I'm not sure whats wrong, but I'm tired of it. Basically, like I said before, I can't eat or drink. Not because I can't keep it down, but because I can't get it down to start with. Everyone keeps telling me to suck it up and drink something even if it hurts. I don't think anyone really understands. This isn't the strep throat sort of pain in your throat. It is much deeper than that, and there is something so much more wrong than a simple sore throat. Today, as my dear sister is trying to get me to drink something, I finally come up with the only analogy I can think of. "Its not that simple. If someone told you that you had to cut off your arm, even though it hurt, could you do it? Sometimes you just can't inflict that sort of pain upon yourself." Yes, I have been to the doctor and yes I have called home and been taking ridiculous amounts of medication but nothing seems to be doing the trick. Alright. Enough about my odd health issues that I am learning the best way to deal with is just sleeping the entire day away.. I have had an eye opening weekend.

I have learned just how much I appreciate family. I have been living at my sister's and her husband's quaint little apartment, specifically designed for two. Sometimes it is nice just to be around family, you know? I'm sure it is a hassle to have my here, but she keeps on insisting that I stay here. My mom and dad have also called me a thousand million times today to check up on me, and I appreciate them so much for that.

I also appreciate good family friends. Our family doctor took time out of his already overly busy Sunday afternoon, to call me because he heard that I wasn't doing well and was worried. It was a typical doctors visit, only over the phone. He then called my parents and told them what he thought of everything, and is still very concerned. I so love Cardston, and I miss it a little bit more every day.

I have learned just how much I appreciate Canada's health care system. I know some people may disagree, but it is the best. You'd think the fact that I waited in the emergency room for seven and a half hours on Saturday would be the worst part. It wasn't. Not even being hooked up to all the strange machines that I had only seen on Grey's Anatomy and having strange concoctions of medications shoved down my throat would maybe be the worst. Wrong again. The thought of the huge medical bill that my parents were going to possibly be surprised with very soon made me feel awful. They said not to worry, but how could I not?

I have learned that I truly have the best friend ever. Not ever in my lifetime have I ever had a friend be so genuinely concerned about my health and well being as this one in particular. The thing is, there is probably about 2039482039 things going on in his life, well actually, I know for a fact there is, but he still took the time to put everything aside, and figure out if there was anything he could do, make me feel better, and has spent the whole day doing so. It is truly touching to know that someone cares about me that much. I am so lucky. :)

I am not sure we can ever be completely ready for the challenges that life presents, but I do know that there are always people there that will help you and people who are so genuinely concerned about you that they cry right along with you. There are people who will wait in a hospital with you for seven hours and listen to you complain about how thirsty you are. There are people that will take you to the pharmacy in the middle of their afternoon and sit in the aisle on the ground as you burst into tears as you try to guzzle down some fruit smoothie. There are always people who will remember to fast and pray, and there are always people who are willing to give you a blessing. People are amazing, and I am so grateful for those people who have been a positive influence in my life thus far, and for those people who have tried so incredibly hard to help me carry my burdens when I feel I cannot do it anymore. Hopefully things start getting better soon, but if not, I guess that is just life?

1 comment:

  1. This was wonderful Jane. I hope you feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete

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