a lot of thoughts.

It was a good day. Things are a lot better than last week.

I have had some interesting thoughts today. They are all over the map of course, but I would like to write them down because I will feel better if I do.

I have a lot of best friends. I am happy about that. My best friend Cody is leaving in fifteen days, and I will miss him maybe more than I have missed anyone.

Waking up at 9:00 am makes the day sooo much longer, and you seriously can get so much done.. Seriously. I got all my errands done there before noon. I then spent the afternoon catching up on some lost time, listening to the radio really loud, cleaning some floors, doing some dishes, and I just thoroughly enjoyed myself. This was all before work at 4:30.

Cleaning is way more fun when you do it with your friends. Seriously though. You can follow each other around and do the jobs together. It makes it easier, faster, and most definitely more exciting.

"Sleeping on it" doesn't really do much in my opinion. You don't exactly have any control of what you dream about, so how does sleeping on something help you come to some kind of conclusion? Exactly. It doesn't. All it does is give you an excuse to run away from something that is bothering you. There isn't anything wrong with that, I just think people need to stop using the phrase "sleeping on it" and instead, maybe just say... "I don't want to think about this right now because I really just don't know what to do. I'm going to sleep instead." That's more honest, yeah?

If you love someone, you don't want to hurt them.. right? Isn't it just as simple as that? You want them to be happy. If you love someone, you won't risk losing that. Love is a lot of things, but I think that is an important one.

Life.Never.Gets.Easier. As soon as one thing is better, something else is worse.. I guess that's just what life is about, and perhaps every step of the way prepares you for the next step.

Today on facebook, I liked the group, "hearing something that kills you inside and having to act like you don't care.." I don't in fact "like" this. I actually completely hate this and there is nothing worse. I am getting too good at acting like I don't care I think. It has lead me to the point where I let people use me and treat me like less of a person because I act like I don't care. I believe in acting like I don't care when necessary, or to protect those I care about, but I need to draw a line. I have feelings, and I am sensitive. I do care. A lot.

Surprising people is fun. Trying to surprise people and finding out they are not where you assumed is not fun.

The other day I wrote a post about not having a first love. I have thought about that post a lot, and I realized, I have had a first love. But right now, that truly isn't the most important thing in my life. I have other things I need to focus on and other things I need to be involved with.

I often say things I don't mean, and I hate when I do it, but sometimes I can't stop myself. It is such a problem when people take these things SO literally and I end up really regretting speaking. I need to work on this.

Right now, the flaw that I am working on overcoming is seriously killing me. I have done better then I have in the past, but I have to wonder how long I will be able to bottle away my feelings before the cap just pops right off and I explode.

I read this quote while I was searching for blog pictures. "How many times do we forgive someone just because we don't want to lose them, even though they don't deserve our forgiveness?" I do have strong beliefs on the importance of forgiveness, but perhaps thinking of this in a different way? Maybe like.. "How many times do we let people hurt us just because we don't want to lose them.. even though you don't deserve to be treated like that?" I don't know about everyone else, but I am the biggest pushover when it comes to this. I have been my whole life. It's a little bit sad maybe.

I am freakishly incredible at judging situations and predicting things. I know, it sounds weird. But sometimes a little part of me wonders if maybe I am psycic? Call me crazy.. but it's just getting weird.

Yes, I am a firm believer in the notion that eventually.. things turn out how they are supposed to; however, in addition to that, I don't believe that is an easy way out of hard things. I don't think that is an excuse to run around being careless because eventually things will be right. I believe you have to work hard to make things work out right. I believe if you find someone you love, you won't risk losing person that because you know what?.. you might. And perhaps if you did things differently.. you wouldn't have. I believe if you hope something happens, you need to do what you can to help that thing to happen. No one gets to just sit back and watch their life fall into place. I believe if something is important, you will find a way to keep that thing apart of your life. You have to work for what you want to work out... and then you will find it.

I like not working at 7:30 on Monday mornings. This was by far my favorite Monday in a long time. Obviously for more reasons than not working early, but it certainly helped.

If something is bothering you.. you can make it go away. Try this:

Worked like a charm for me. =)

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