I am a dreamer. I always have been. I often wake up from an earthquake dream—a nonstop earthquake dream at that—and am truly astounded by the accuracy, the intensity, and the complete joy I experience while being asleep. I sometimes consider dreams to be haunting. You creep in while I'm sleeping, and consume my mind and heart without even asking. I have no control over that. Isn't that great? Great and terrible, I suppose.
Sometimes before I go to sleep at night, I just hope with everything that I am.. that my sleep will be filled with perfect evenings and butterflies and sweet songs of the past. Falling into a beautifully deep sleep only to have your mind engaged in a perfect day.. its incredible. Sometimes I am lucky enough to get just that. The smells, the images, the emotions... It is mind boggling how precisely my subconsciousness can produce these things, things that are long forgotten in my consciousness. Things that I push to the very darkest of hidden crevices inside my soul, manage to sneak their way into the middle of the night. Other nights, I pray, more than anything, that this sort of perfect dream won't happen. The things hiding in crevices of my soul are pushed back there for a reason, and as much as I relish in the pure blissful oblivions of remembering and enjoying these things, every day it is harder to once again push these things back where they belong.
Sometimes I just hope that maybe I will get a peek into what my future has to offer. Who will be there? Where will I be? And what will I want? Do I like the way my life is? What should I change?
Some mornings, Dreams, I wake up relieved that you are gone. I guess I would refer to you more as a nightmare? The realization that you were only an awful dream fills me with replenishing relief. I could do without you, for the record. Some mornings, I don't even think about you, and you are entirely forgotten as I continue back to my daily life. Then. There are the mornings when I wake up, and I would give anything to return back to my dream. These are the dreams that I live for. Dreams where smells are so strong that you can't believe they aren't real. Dreams where life is so perfect, that you never want to return to reality. Dreams where everything is so right once again, that you truly believe someday, things will be perfect and right. I suppose the ultimate dream is to someday turn the surreal, into real. I guess dreams certainly remind me what life is all about.
Thank you dreams for taking me back to the days that I miss. Thank you for letting me relive the perfectly precious moments that I treasure in life. Thank you for helping me meet the people I want to meet, and see the places I want to see. Mostly, thank you for knowing my deepest darkest secrets, and for taking me just where I want to be. Please, continue being nonstop, and earthquake.
PS. Do I have to fall asleep, with roses in my hand?